he is risen!

Or maybe, he’s just figured out how to google Sydney Sweeney, and now he’s down a rabbit hole of AI-generated porn and short clips from Euphoria and The Voyeurs.

Anyway, I cooked two turkeys yesterday and a ham today, so I have not risen. I have fallen onto the couch to watch my beloved Maple Leafs destroy their hated rivals, the evil Sens. Any euphoria I have will come from that, and any voyeuring I do will be with my beautiful wife, who also has a spectacular bod.

Anyway, happy Easter, be nice to each other. I think that was Jesus’ whole deal, once you strip away the religious bullshit.

Too bad Christians haven’t quite figured that out.

Target; 1200 words
Written: 965 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe
Comics: Hit-Girl v3 8-10, Kick-Ass v4 18
Music: Eagles Essentials, The Eagles

jesus is dead

And so is Buddha, Mohammed, Krishna and Joseph Smith.

The myth of the resurrection of Jesus is hardly proof of his divinity or his status as the son of God. You know how many other people were raised from the dead in the Bible?

Sounds to me like they needed better coroners.

Better doctors, at least.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1198 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe
Comics: Hit-Girl v3 4-5, Kick-Ass v4 14-15
Music: Ixnay On The Hombre, The Offspring

long weekend

I fully intend to follow this up with a post on Monday or Tuesday called Long Ass Weekend, but for now, know, going into Easter, that I was run ragged for weeks before our vacation, and as fun as travel is, it was also insanely busy, and then we got back and I have a thousand things to catch up on, so hosting Easter is kind of bullshit.

Fuck Jesus, and the bunny he rode in on.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 983 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe
Comics: Hit-Girl v3 1-3, Kick-Ass v4 13
Music: IV, Veruca Salt (single most underrated girl band in history - Olivia Rodrigo owes her career to them - Guts is a straight rip off in style, made pop palatable)

hump day

Is it still hump day when you’re only working a four-day week? Or is just the second half?

Thoughts for a day.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1190 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe
Comics: Hit-Girl v2 11-12, Kick-Ass v4 11-12
Music: It's What We're All About, Sum 41

america

Let’s put it on hold for now. What resources does it have that can’t be found elsewhere?

This is a golden opportunity for the rest of the world to unite, put an end of American hegemony and maybe, finally start that path to a more enlightened world.

Sanction those fuckers they’re North Korea.

See how long they last.

Target: 1100 words
Written: 342 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Dream-Quest Of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft
Comics: Kick-Ass v4 9-10, Hit-Girl v2 9-10
Music: It's The New Style/Paul Revere, Beastie Boys

the end

Well, the end of the first draft.

Took a few days to get to it with how crazy it’s been lately and being gone and such, but here we are.

Complete first draft of two men trying to kill each other in an allegory of the left-right political spectrum (and not both-siding – the right is in the wrong, the left is just ineffectual and doesn’t seem to have the stomach for the fight).

Anyway, massive overhauls coming.

That’s the next phase.

Target: 1100 words
Written: 1765 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Dream-Quest Of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft
Comics: Hit-Girl v2 7-8, Kick-Ass v4 7-8
Music: It's Only Rock 'n' Roll, The Rolling Stones

sunday

And so, it was written, that M.T. Williams should have a day off, and that that day should be utterly compromised by everyone around him, and naught should get done that he desires.

He did watch Thelma & Louise for the first time, however. Who knew Susan Sarandon would be the sensible one?

Target: 1100 words
Written: 1001 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Second Book Of The Tao, Stephen Mitchell (some nice things in here, but yeah, can you tell the success of his translation of the Tao Te Ching went to his head, and now he thinks he's a rock star?)
Comics: Kick-Ass v4 5-6, Hit-Girl v2 5-6
Music: It's Not Me, It's You, Lily Allen (fuck you)

saturday

Sweet shit Jesus, it’s the weekend.

Here’s a joke, as told to me by a German tour guide.

A statue of Adonis and a statue of Aphrodite stare at each other from across a courtyard. They’ve been there for hundreds of years, posed, gazing into each other’s eyes, sculpted, their perfect bodies the ideals of male and female.

Along come Cupid, who thinks, what beautiful people, doomed to stare at other for eternity with no contact, no words, no nothing. I bet if they were real, even for an hour, man, they’d fuck like rabbits.

(Sorry, ridiculous and sublime).

So, he gives them that time and they rush together, stare into each other’s eyes and whisper sweet nothings in one another’s ears. Then, they disappear into the bushes and man, the noises that come out of there. Cupid thinks, damn, I guess they really were jonesing for each other. Jesus, that’s some kinda something going on back there.

Finally, as the hour emerges, out they come. Adonis says to Aphrodite, “Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

Aphrodite turns and says, “Yes, but next time, you hold the pigeon and I’ll shit on its head.”

Good night, folks. I’ll be here all week.

Target: 1100 words
Written: 186 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Second Book Of The Tao, Stephen Mitchell
Comics: Kick-Ass v4 3-4, Hit-Girl v2 3-4
Music: It's In Our Hands, Bjork (which now sounds gross, in the context of that joke)

climax

Well, I’ve hit the finale of the first draft. It’s this, epilogue and done.

That’s big work and typical for a first draft, I fucking hate it.

Got the rough idea down, but it felt half-assed and rushed. That’s what editing is for, I guess.

To take the paint colours you’ve chosen, and actually applying them to paper, ultimately throwing out the canvas and starting anew, tweaking, changing, trying different styles.

And eventually, you cut your ear off, and everyone thinks, GENIUS!

Target: 1100 words
Written: 2209 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Last Wish, Andrzej Sapkowski
Comics: Kick-Ass v4 1-2, Hit-Girl v2 1-2
Music: It's Hard, The Who (it fucking is)