the nice guy

I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness. I don’t know what’s going on with me, whether I’ll ever make it as an author or be considered cool or any of that other stuff. I don’t quite know how to cure my depression, my timidity or how to become the man I want to be.

But I do know that I don’t want to be an asshole. I want to be seen as someone who committed random acts of kindness. When people came to me, I was honest and kind and always open with them.

I want to be kind to myself.

I do not want to be one of those people who mistakes their timidity for kindness and assumes that the fact of that timidity/kindness entitles them to anything.

I don’t think I’m entitled to shit I haven’t earned.

I don’t even like taking free giveaway stuff. I hate coupons. I feel like I’m taking advantage.

I know that’s ridiculous. Take the free gift, damn it. Take the donut, as Amanda Palmer would say.

I would like to take it with empathy, or better yet, earn it with my kind actions.

So, we’re going to work on that, for the next little while. I don’t know if that means charity work or just random kindness to the people in my life (well, that one for sure), but that will be the focus going forward.

Finding out what kindness is, and applying it to the world.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 489 words, novel: Father Lightning

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