I don’t know why I get this all the time. People seem to think I’m zen.
My response is usually, you don’t know me very well.
It’s not laidback; it’s defeat. It’s resignation.
It is surrender to hopeless.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2715 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: The Crime Studio, Steve Aylett
Comics: Gen 13 v4 33-36
Music: Family, Cat StevensI don’t know why.
I just do.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 1919 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: The Legend Of Bagger Vance, Steven Pressfield
Comics: Gen 13 v4 29-32
Music: A Fight For What Is Right, Closet MonsterI’m re-reading the scene I wrote yesterday and I have questions about my mindset.
For example, I used the word dude instead of dug, and referred to someone getting on their hands and knees as being on “all floor”.
I might be glitching out.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 584 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: The Legend Of Bagger Vance, Steven Pressfield
Comics: Gen 13 v4 21-24
Music: Fever To Tell, Yeah Yeah YeahsYou know what? It was a good Friday.
Time off, time to write, time to read and play video games?
I’ll fuckin’ take it.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 1428 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone , J.K. (don't call me Joanne) Rowling
Comics: Gen 13 v4 13-16
Music: Ferment, Catherine WheelHoly fuck. Couldn’t focus on anything at all today.
Failure of a day. Failure of a man.
I think maybe it’s time to go.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 878 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, J.K. (don't call me TERF) Rowling
Comics: Gen 13 v4 10-12, Gen 13: Armageddon 1
Music: Fegmania!, Robyn Hitchcock & The EgyptiansStrange things are happening today. My body appears to be doing things without my mind, and my mind is doing things and forgetting them completely.
Who’s in charge, you say?
I’ve no idea.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 1421 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby, Tom Wolfe
Comics: Gen 13 v3 2-5
Music: Fear Of A Punk Planet, The VandalsBut surprise, he didn’t.
Not only has he (like my doctor that retired and the various clinic/ER doctors I saw while I was without a primary care physician) ignored everything I said to him about pain and discomfort in my abdomen, doing no tests (like the others) and blowing it off “gas” (here, have a pill!), he couldn’t even be bothered to follow up on the change in blood pressure medication he gave me (which has made the situation ten times worse.)
For every Dr. Robbie or Meredith Grey, there are a thousand doctors who don’t give a fuck, for whom it’s just a job, who no longer care, or who graduated bottom of the class.
Someone had to, right?
Target: 1500 words
Written: 257 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Code And The Laws Of Cyberspace, Lawrence Lessig
Comics: GenActive 4, Gen 13 v2 61-62, Gen 13/Fantastic Four 1
Music: Fashion Nugget, CakeI gave it to my wife because while a massage is nice, I don’t really necessarily need them. I prefer a lighter massage, and if I’m really being honest, I’d rather it be sensual, rather than clinical (not that I’m asking a RMT to do such things – I mean from my significant other).
But, I guess they’re good for you?
Personally, I could do with some muscle relaxers.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 308 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: The Twenty-Seventh City, Jonathan Franzen
Comics: Gen 13/Monkeyman & O'Brien 2, Gen 13 v2 33-34, Gen 13: Magical Dream Queen Roxy 1
Music: Facelift, Alice In ChainsI know it’s pop or whatever, but I feel Cameron Whitcomb’s Options in my gut. I never think of myself as an alcoholic, though my sister-in-law loves to imply it, though her husband actually drinks harder liquor than I do, more often.
He’s prone to get a right buzz on; I just like a couple of beers at the pool or a glass of wine with dinner.
And that, only two to three times a week, if I’m lucky.
Of course, there’s more of that when we’re on vacation, but fuck, you’re on vacation.
If you can’t let your hair down a little on vacation, what kind of vacation is it?
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2139 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: The Twenty-Seventh City, Jonathan Franzen
Comics: Gen 12 5, Gen 13 v2 31-32, Gen 13 Bootleg 20
Music: Face Dances, The WhoThis new drug is not working. I weened off the other stuff and into this new one and it is not doing the trick.
Things are worse than they’ve been since before I started taking anything.
I think my doctor might be trying to kill me, through negligence, if not actual malice.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2342 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: A Vindication Of The Rights Of Woman, Mary Wollstonecraft
Comics: Gen 13 Bootleg 2-3, Gen 13 v2 16, -1
Music: November 23, 2007, The 9:30 Club, Washington, DC, They Might Be Giants