He’s our baby boy of nearly sixteen years. His twin died last year, and he has been on a downward slide since.
He’s not the same; he looks like he’s out of it a lot.
I fear we might not have much longer with our boy.
Man, that sucks.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2410 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Against The Fall Of Night, Arthur C. Clarke
Comics: Zealot 2, Wildstorm: Chamber Of Horrors 1, Grifter/Badrock 1, WildC.A.T.S. 24
Music: Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy, RefreshmentsI think it’s time I got more serious about writing and exploring kindness.
See, The Mungk took me to a dark place because I was thinking about trauma, abandonment and isolation the whole time. The Conflagration of Boor and Aghast made me angry, because tapping into the outrage machine and felt helplessness of modern politics can’t help but do so (also, didn’t help that Trump launched his reign of terror).
Father Lightning is, at its core, an exploration of kindness. So rather than bogging down in anger and hopelessness or despair, it was meant to re-centre me, and re-focus on compassion and empathy and treating people with kindness and respect.
But here I am, thinking about anger and trauma, again.
Going forward, no more pain and anger (well, some pain and anger).
The primary focus of this blog will be kindness, and everything that goes along with it.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2195 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Time For A Tiger, Anthony Burgess (when I started reading this, I thought it might be about an actual tiger, or a tiger as a metaphor for Malaysia near the end of British rule, but nope - a Tiger is a warm beer, and our protagonist spend most of their time not wanting to do anything but stop what they're doing and go have one. Weird premise, Burgess. I mean, I understand the sentiment, but weird thing to focus a book on.)
Comics: Voodoo/Zealot: Skin Trade 1, Zealot 1, WildC.A.T.S. 23, Team One/WildC.A.T.S. 2
Music: Five Songs And A Cover, Foo FightersMy daughter is listening to this audiobook, and I can’t help but think it dovetails with my idea of an afterlife (of just spending all one’s time exploring all the possible scenarios and things one wanted to know in one’s life), only instead of curiosity and wanting to know what one’s missed, it’s a testament to human restlessness, of its ridiculous dissatisfaction with literally everything.
FOMO is destroying the world.
Of that, I have no doubt. Envy is a real bitch.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 506 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Time For A Tiger, Anthony Burgess
Comics: Team One/WildC.A.T.S. 1, Spartan: Warrior Spirit 1, WildC.A.T.S. 22, Grifter 3
Music: Five Hundred Pounds, Big SugarYou wake up, things seem like they’re going tickety-boo, and then all of a sudden, it’s three o’clock and you’ve only done distracted things and shit for other people.
And yet it seemed like you had so much time.
If that ain’t a metaphor for a wasted life, I don’t know what is.
This workin’s for the birds.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2028 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Time For A Tiger, Anthony Burgess
Comics: Wildstorm Rising 2, Grifter 2, WildCats Adventures 10, WildC.A.T.S. 21
Music: Five Dollar Bob's Mock Cooter Stew, MudhoneyI’ll be honest.
I’m starting to worry.
Am I dying?
Target: 1500 words
Written: 1183 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Time For A Tiger, Anthony Burgess
Comics: WildCats Adventures 8-9, Wildstorm Rising 1, Grifter 1
Music: Fishbone, FishboneI mean, is it possible that the first step in kindness is not just being nice to the people who are close to you, but maybe, showing yourself the kind of kindness you’d like to impart onto others?
Forgiveness for past transgressions. Forgiveness for failures, for inaction, for embarrassing blunders.
Forgiveness for little things.
Big things.
Bad behaviour.
Forgiveness for being a dumbass.
Because there’s always that. In the grand scheme of things, we are all morons.
So, forgive yourself for that. We’re all the same in that regard.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 800 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Pebble In The Sky, Isaac Asimov
Comics: WildCats Adventures 7, WildC.A.T.S. Special 1, Warblade: Endangered Species 4, WildC.A.T.S. 20
Music: First Impressions Of Earth, The StrokesLike, the whole thing about Father Lightning is me exploring the nature of kindness, in the same manner I explored the concept of dualism in The Conflagration Of Boor And Aghast and trauma in The Mungk.
I don’t think I’m doing so well. The point of kindness is not that you’re a doormat; it’s also not to only be kind to those to whom it’s easy to be kind.
True kindness understands that sometimes the kindest thing is a direct truth; true kindness understands that sometimes, even those that would seem to deserve it the least are the ones that may need it the most.
It sets boundaries by shedding light on the reality of a situation; it understands that sometimes, in that enlightening, we may need to cast aside judgment.
I’m not sure I’m doing a very good job of that.
In this, I must be better.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2337 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Pebble In The Sky, Isaac Asimov
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 18-19, WildCats Adventures 6, Warblade: Endangered Species 3
Music: The First Four Years, Black FlagWeird, because I planned the day on making chili early, so I’d have more free time in the evening.
Unfortunately, I forgot we have my father-in-law for a standing dinner on Sundays, and while we appreciate having him, I’m not sure how much he appreciates it anymore.
Certainly the manner in which he somehow manages to spray everything except the toilet would suggest that maybe he’s taking things a little bit for granted.
He’s not a bad guy, just no social awareness. No concept of etiquette.
Ironic, from a young punk, who glorified the flouting of convention.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2021 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Pebble In The Sky, Isaac Asimov
Comics: WildCats Adventures Sourcebook 1, Warblade: Endangered Species 1-2, WildCats Adventures 5
Music: The First Edition, Kenny Rogers & The First Edition (I just dropped in)I make notes on second draft while a rat terrier shakes uncontrollably in my lap, and the sky rumbles above.
I don’t know what traumatized her so, but man, poor girl.
We love you, Sofi. Sorry about the weather.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 1349 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Pebble In The Sky, Isaac Asimov
Comics: WildCats Adventures 3-4, WildC.A.T.S. 17, Grifter: One Shot 1
Music: First Ditch Effort, NOFXI just wish I knew what they were.
Target: 1500 words
Written: 2259 words, novel: Father Lightning
Read: Call For The Dead, John Le Carre
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 11-14
Music: FireCracker Lounge, Sublime