trying to remember kindness

This is a tough world in which to focus on kindness. I try to, but my frustration with our current political climate and people’s unfortunate behaviour makes it difficult to find sympathy.

It’s very easy to retreat.

Crippling depression and overwhelming stress doesn’t help. When one is in crisis, doing the extra for others seems a step too far.

But perhaps that’s when we need it most.

(What we really need is for someone to show us the same grace in return, but let’s face it – this isn’t that kind of world, and that’s a rare act.)

As someone who has dealt extensively with depression, I can confidently say that most kindness is tempered by judgment.

Oh, I’m so sorry, honey, maybe you should just buck up.

I feel you and what you’re going through, but maybe if you weren’t depressed, you wouldn’t have this problem (no shit, Sherlock).

He’s having a hard time, but he brought it on himself.

Etc., etc.

Do not temper your kindness with judgment; just be there. Give the hug. Hold the hand. Help clean up. Make a casserole.

Listen. Don’t be a jerk.

After all, better out than in, and judgment forces the latter, intentionally or otherwise.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1354 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Night Shift, Stephen King
Comics: Voodoo v2 12, 0, Grifter v3 0, 13
Music: From Here To Eternity Live, The Clash

toxic masculinity

There’s nothing wrong with strength, but posturing is never truly the mark of a strong man.

Indeed, kindness, compassion, sober second thought – the ability to see perspective and to act on a combination of conviction and data (never blinding oneself to what is for the sake of dogmatic ideals) – these are the hallmarks of a strong person.

Those who would sublimate themselves in order to help someone in need.

Those who show kindness to anyone who needs it.

Those who would stand up for those that need their help, regardless of the consequences to oneself, in the face of the laughing masses.

That’s fucking strength. That’s “masculine” (and really – it’s everyone. Nothing in this precludes anyone of any gender to be any of this – good and bad).

Anyway, that’s my point.

It takes more courage and strength to be soft and kind than it does to put up walls and pretend to be hard (and if you’re truly hard, well, then, why would we venerate you? As the Tao puts it – the hard and stiff are disciples of death; the supple and flexible are those of life.)

(Paraphrased, obviously.)

Corpses are rigid, and only move at the whim of others as they decay.

Life moves in an intricate dance, wills and choice mingling, and isn’t it better to dance well with your partners, than do the meathead thing and forget that a mosh pit isn’t sanctioned bullying; it’s energetic celebration.

Kindness isn’t toxic; neither is it feminine.

It’s human, and a fully obtainable ideal.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1130 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Night Shift, Stephen King
Comics: Voodoo v2 10-11, Grifter v3 11-12
Music: From A Basement On A Hill, Elliott Smith

leave ’em lying

The rule down south now. Hell, anywhere right wing leaders are – they lie, lie and lie some more, and someday, someone’s going to leave them lying.

It’s what happens to all fascists in the end.

Chickens come home to roost. Houses made of cards collapse, and pretending to be humble, aw shucks or bombastic “the big lie is the best lie” won’t mean a goddamn thing.

They’re doing it to themselves. They could stop their downfall, but they don’t want to – this is a death cult, squeezing every last bit of misery they can, for the personal profit of their own power and their own pockets.

I preach kindness and pacifism; I preach fortitude and no compromise with bigots and authoritarians.

There is no grey area in dictatorships.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1446 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Well Of Shiuan, C.J. Cherryh
Comics: Voodoo v2 4-5, Grifter v3 5-6
Music: Friends, The Beach Boys (not today)

the world’s first trillionaire

People seem to think this is some kind of achievement; I think it’s a crime and an illusion.

He doesn’t have a trillion dollars laying around. It’s all made up money, floating around in the ether with no actual value.

Take away the stock market and what’s this guy got?

What’s SpaceX actually worth to humanity? Tesla makes some of the worst electric cars out there – there are far better options.

Twitter? A fucking joke now.

This guy can and has contributed a negative value to the world. He may be a trillion dollars on paper.

In reality, he’s just some fucking asshole who thinks he’s far better than he actually is.

He is a net minus, in every way that matters, save in a made-up high score in a virtual game for rich dicks, all of whom pretend that worth on paper is the same as actual worth.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 2280 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Well Of Shiuan, C.J. Cherryh (I have been waiting to get back to Morgaine with great anticipation.)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. v5 30, Grifter v3 1-2, Voodoo v2 1
Music: Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables, Dead Kennedys

the official word

I’m sick of draws. Every once in a while is fine, but come on.

Let’s have a winner sometime; and let’s make it the good guys (or gal, as the case may be).

Target: 1600 words
Written: 3611 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: In Search Of The Castaways, Jules Verne
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. v5 22-25
Music: Freaky Stylely, Red Hot Chili Peppers

ugh

I love Doctor Who and Tom Baker in particular, but The Talons Of Weng Chiang?

Yikes. Racist.

It’s got Leela at her best, however, so there’s that.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1134 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Coppermine Journey, Farley Mowat
Comics: Wildstorm Revelations 2-5
Music: Frank Sinatra Essentials, Frank Sinatra

vickie day

She may be gone, but the old bag’s not forgotten.

Or maybe she is. I keep conflating her with Queen Elizabeth, and forgetting she’s also dead.

God, we have a Charles now?

Whatever happened to ending the monarchy?

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1179 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Side Hustle: From Idea To Income In 27 Days, Chris Guillebeau
Comics: WildCats 10-13
Music: For Blood And Empire, Anti-Flag

did i oversexualize lynda carter?

I mean, didn’t everyone?

But, yeah. I’m supposed to be better than that. I still think, that to this day, she’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.

I’m also in awe of the kindness and compassion she shows, which is actually more attractive than her appearance ever could be.

Indeed, that kindness and compassion is one of the sexiest attributes anyone can have, regardless of gender or appearance.

Being a hateful thing only serves to strip even the most beautiful of us of any allure.

Just ask Brigitte Bardot and her Marine LePen supporting ass.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 2093 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Side Hustle: From Idea To Income In 27 Days, Chris Guillebeau
Comics: WildCats v2 1-3, Wild Times: Grifter 1
Music: Foot In Mouth, Green Day

kindness, in mini

Let’s start small. Yesterday, I had difficulty reconciling the lifestyle of kindness and compassion with the need to punch a Nazi in the nose (because that may be the kindest thing you can do for the world, and perhaps for them).

Today, I’m just thinking about little things, and mostly, it comes down to paying attention. Instead of living in our own heads, we focus outward and really pay attention to the people around us, the people with whom we interact. How are they responding to what’s happening around them?

Do they need help? A good chuckle? A hug? A pat on the back? Some uplifting words?

Or maybe they just need someone to sit with them and be there for them.

I’m naturally drawn to the underdog, the person everyone’s ignoring in place of the most obvious victim or the cause du jour. Caregiver burnout is a real thing, and I think it behooves us to show some grace to those who do the work.

It’s very easy to feel empathy for an aging mother whose mind is wavering, or someone in a wheelchair, and very easy to criticize those who are most responsible for their welfare, who have set aside their own wants and needs in order to take care of someone else.

And it’s easy to sympathize with those who are caregivers, except when they get frustrated or dare to take a little something for themselves. Then, it’s easy to criticize; they’re bad people for getting angry at their charge, for taking a few moments to collect themselves while a child or parent is screaming; the accused, seeing the press whirl up against them without any regard for fact or nuance.

It’s easy to judge, to write off, to label as mean, as a bitch, an asshole, an abuser.

It’s much more difficult to try and understand, and in that, there is kindness.

I guess this wasn’t really mini at all.

More on that another time.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 2094 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Still Just A Geek, Wil Wheaton
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 38-39, Grifter v2 11, WildC.A.T.S./X-Men 2
Music: Fly On The Wall, AC/DC

kindness in the face of insanity

I’ll admit, this is the part of kindness where I struggle. I know, in Buddhist though, Taoist thought, compassion is for everyone, no matter who they are or what they represent.

And I understand that. But I see kindness as having little effect on the authoritarians of the world, or on those who absolutely refuse to help themselves. In many cases, kindness is an enabling factor, not a mitigating one.

Kindness needs to be tempered with a resolve that doesn’t allow for bad behaviour to continue. Tough love, I believe it’s called, but I hate the concept itself – it’s so ripe for exploitation and coercion. Like so many great concepts “in theory”, there are always those who would twist the sentiment to their own end.

Tough love as the excuse for an abusive parent. Kindness as a shield for an exploitive guru. Compassion as way to enable another’s bad behaviour and thereby, avoid conflict.

It is not kindness to let people continue to behave poorly in their lives. Sometimes, the greatest kindness is letting go of that person, or devising a means by which their harm can be minimized (or eliminated altogether – and since I preach non-violence as much as possible, I prefer minimization – not ignorance, awareness without engagement).

Sometimes, the most kind thing is to recognize that the person you need to be kind to is yourself, and that the person who you believed deserved your kindness is not of more consequence than that. If compassion for another is killing you, it flies in the face of compassion. Compassion does not equal martyr.

Then again, maybe I just don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. Perhaps I’m only saying this because I feel on the verge of breaking, and am putting up walls to allow myself time to rebuild, refocus and rest.

Thus, it’s back to the Buddhist texts and a continued re-reading of Tao Te Ching. Kindness, empathy, compassion – the structure is in there somewhere.

And I’ll get it eventually.

I hope.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1369 words, novel: Father Lightning (and the tradition of missing my updated target on the first day continues)

Read: Still Just A Geek, Wil Wheaton (wait, is this a rewrite?  Ugh.)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 37-38, Grifter 9-10
Music: Flowers, The Rolling Stones