Category: philosophy

for the record, charity

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I don’t think charity is necessarily a negative or that it’s always motivated by selfishness.

My personal opinion is that all charities should exist to solve a problem (solve, not just mitigate), then close up shop and let donations flow elsewhere.

Where money is involved, there will be corruption. That’s an inescapable fact of money.

Where exists the possibility for greed, there will be greed. And greed has no place in charity or kindness.

That’s the point I’m getting at – after all. the Trump family runs numerous charities and we all know they don’t give a shit about anybody but themselves.

Solve the problem and get out. Exist only on what you need to exist; make sure the bulk goes where it’s needed, not where it’s desired.

And remember – kindness need not cost a damn thing.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1617 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea, Jules Verne
Comics: Dynamo 5 14, Brit v2 5-6, Noble Causes 34 (reading this version of Brit makes me feel like I'm having a stroke; or the writer is having a stroke, or the writer's first language isn't English, and has used 2006 Google translate to create the English dialogue.  The sentences don't even make sense, and if it's for effect, the effect is unintelligible pseudo-babble.)
Music: Frankenchrist, Dead Kennedys (okay, Frank Turner on hold, getting too into it)

charity

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Is charity the same as kindness? It certainly can be.

It can also be a way of keeping people dependent. Or making oneself look good at the expense of someone else’s suffering.

Is charity truly kindness, or does that depend entirely on circumstances?

Certainly, there are hundreds of charities that exist solely to be someone’s write-off, a billionaire’s scam, a business where the CEO still pays themselves like a Fortune 500 CEO (see Way, United).

An act of kindness does not have to be charity.

It does not even have to be nice. Sometimes, the greatest kindness is telling someone a hard truth. It may not seem kind, but lying to them, or allowing them to continue to live a lie is far more cruel.

Sometimes, the kindness is in saying nothing at all.

Sometimes, it’s not helping at all. Letting someone find her own way.

Sometimes, charity is another word for condescension. Another word for oppression.

Another word for kindness.

Context and perspective are everything.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 570 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea, Jules Verne (here we go again with the cannibals)
Comics: Noble Causes 32-33, Dynamo 5 12-13
Music: Undefeated, Frank Turner

forty nine

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One year short of a half-century. Half a century use to seem ancient.

Would that I could start over. What I could do, how I could live, with the things I know now; I don’t mean specific knowledge.

I mean the whole how-to-live thing. What’s important. What to focus on.

When to take action. When to relax.

Wouldacouldashoulda.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1534 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Wizard At Large, Terry Brooks
Comics: Invincible 33-34, Noble Causes 22-23
Music: Fossil Fuels: The XTC Singles Collection 1977-1992, Discs 1-2, XTC

i still have thoughts

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But they’ll have to wait for tomorrow – today, I’ve learned that our newest cat and our oldest dog have odd looking growths on their gums and butt respectively, and now, all I can think is that I’ve had nowhere near enough time.

Hold tight to those you love; they could be ripped away at any second.

In this dangerous world, love is a gift, to be given freely and without remorse.

Until it’s gone.

Then, there can be a little remorse.

Or a lot, if it’s as special as my Mazy and Sami.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1806 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Enchanter's End Game, David Eddings (okay, I know, I know, Eddings is a problematic, kept the kid in the basement and fed him fish heads with my wife kind of problematic, but this was still a strong series, and it ended beautifully.  I teared up a little at Polgara giving up all her power at the end, and then... well. I won't spoil it.  It's a goddamn shame that these days, no one can be brilliant without the caveat of cancellation.  I'm not saying he was right in what he did; I am saying we don't know what his eventual response was - this was all pre-publication.  Maybe he learned from it.  Maybe he grew.  Maybe his philosophies were shaped by his mistakes, in a way that opposed the error of his ways.  All I'm saying is that there are zero people in this world that are perfect; what matters is growth and change, not perfection.  If we insist on perfection, we end up with heartbreak.  Best to take a wider approach).
Comics: Marvel Team-Ups 14, Noble Causes 17-18, Invincible 28
Music: Forth, The Verve (sully on)

exhale

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The anger is going.

It is not gone, but the only way to truly forgive oneself is to let go.

Let go and take action.

That’s all one can do.

One cannot be free until one lets go of guilt, and then moves to make amends.

Or at the very least, not to repeat the mistake.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1594 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Enchanter's End Game, David Eddings
Comics: The Pact 1-2, Noble Causes 10, Invincible 0
Music: For Tomorrow, Blur

too much anger

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Not just in the world, but in me.

I’m angry at the world’s situation.

I’m angry at myself, for wasting so much time.

I’m angry at myself, for not being a better man.

I’m angry at circumstances beyond my control.

I’m angry at being blamed for things I didn’t even do, and never would.

I’m angry at greed.

I’m angry at corruption.

I’m angry at myself for allowing depression to dictate the terms of my life.

I’m angry at other people, for constantly invading my time and space.

I’m angry, because I’m not nice enough, and because I cannot be less nice.

I’m angry at my own frustation.

I’m angry, again, at my inability to change any of this.

I’m angry at my inertia.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1818 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Definitely Dead, Charlaine Harris
Comics: Noble Causes 8-9, Invincible 21-22
Music: For Those About To Rock, AC/DC

in the olive of a dry martini

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It’s funny, how ideas jump from place to place, little things that maybe the later progenitors didn’t even realize from where they came.

A bug in an olive in a martini. I first saw it in Danger Girl; turns out, it came as a suggestion earlier by “Count Diaz” in Wonder Woman.

J. Scott Campbell and I have seen the same shows (and if you’ve seen Campbell’s work, that he would have spent some time with Lynda Carter is unsurprising).

I feel like kindness is much the same way. Someone commits a small act. Someone else sees it; maybe it doesn’t register right away with them, but later, in a similar situation, they see that as a valid course of action.

Enough acts of kindness witnessed, and perhaps, in time, it will become the default course of action for us all.

One can only hope.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1357 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Definitely Dead, Charlaine Harris (definitely boring, already a third of the way through)
Comics: Noble Causes 3-4, Invincible 18-19
Music: For Blood And Empire, Anti-Flag

i hate being that guy

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Look, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the best way to live, but in my experience, the folks who are loudest about how you should live, are often the weakest in actually following through with that.

Those who are living the way they want generally don’t crow about it; they offer humble notes that they put out there and if someone takes inspiration from it, great. If not, well, that has little bearing on how the first person’s life continues to go.

They’ve figured it out. Those saying, “behave this way!” are often not behaving that way.

(See Tolle, Eckhart, Robbins, Tony and Trump, Donald)

So when I post be kind eighteen times, it’s a much a reminder to myself as it is anything. I don’t feel like I’m being very kind these days.

I’m very empathetic. Of that, there’s no doubt. I feel the weight of the world and everyone else’s emotional state keenly.

The problem is that I don’t act on it. I don’t offer to listen, or demonstrate compassion, or help out in any way.

I sit back. I evaluate. I judge. I know what I should be doing, but I don’t.

I make excuses about needing to handle my own stressors first; but maybe that’s just a cop-out.

Depression as procrastination for engaging with life and other people

(It certainly kills my drive to put myself out there.)

Anyway, that’s my thought for the day. Start small, do a few good things for the people you love. Then, world peace and the end of hunger.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 2043 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: 100 Side Hustles: Unexpected Idea For Making Extra Money Without Quitting Your Day Job, Chris Guillebeau
Comics: Tech Jacket 6, Invincible 4-5, Brit 1
Music: Foo Fighters Essentials, Foo Fighters (it's been a few foo foo kind of days)

be kind

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Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

You get the point.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1353 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: 100 Side Hustles: Unexpected Idea For Making Extra Money Without Quitting Your Day Job, Chris Guillebeau
Comics: Tech Jacket 1-3, Invincible 1
Music: folklore, taylor swift (i gather she likes the lowercase and not, you know, LOUD NOISES)

phantom menace

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Every once in a while, when I’ve highly esteemed a thing, or dismissed it out of hand, or ranted against its mediocrity, I like to re-experience it, to see if I really got it right. Older, more mature viewing. Maybe it’s not the masterpiece I thought, or the disaster it seemed. Maybe I wasn’t mature enough or in the right headspace to understand.

I’m not talking about how my love of The A-Team or Dukes of Hazzard as a child has been thoroughly reevaluated as an adult to understand how shitty they were (outside of Catherine Bach, because wow. Masterpiece). That was obvious.

I hated Star Wars: The Phantom Menace when my roommate dragged me to the premier. I wasn’t the biggest Star Wars fan, though I like the original series, but I couldn’t help but think, fuck, people waited twenty-five years for fucking THIS?

I mean, the text scroll starts by talking about tax and trade disputes. Tell me you’re an out of touch rich guy without telling me you’re a rich guy, right? Then, comes the wooden acting, and all around poor script. I mean, you’ve got Evan McGregor and Liam Neeson, and the only halfway decent performance comes from teenage Natalie Portman. I don’t include the racist caricatures of the Gungans and Neimoidians or the original character redux performances of C3PO, Yoda, Jabba, etc., where it’s imitation and not performance. And while I hated everything to do with the kid, it’s not Jake Lloyd’s fault. Like I said, one halfway decent performance coaxed by a director, who should know better, out of some pretty heavyweight talent means the kid is not at fault. The script had so much exposition as to be almost on par an 80s TV movie. How could we excoriate a child for material Academy Award winners couldn’t make compelling?

Anyways, my point is that sometimes, I find things better than I thought they were, and sometimes worse. This time, the result was exactly the same.

What a piece of shit.

Anyway, my point is that in trying to explore kindness while I write Father Lightning, I’m finding the shadow of my prior focus on conflict and anger and myopia is like a phantom menace haunting the back halls of my mind.

I’m finding kindness quite difficult these days, and fucking Jar Jar Binks didn’t help.

Bad fucking hoodoo, man. Bad fucking art.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 2192 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: 100 Side Hustles: Unexpected Idea For Making Extra Money Without Quitting Your Day Job, Chris Guillebeau
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. v6 12
Music: Folk Rock Essentials, Various Artists (so good)