Category: personal

i still have thoughts

Posted on by admin

But they’ll have to wait for tomorrow – today, I’ve learned that our newest cat and our oldest dog have odd looking growths on their gums and butt respectively, and now, all I can think is that I’ve had nowhere near enough time.

Hold tight to those you love; they could be ripped away at any second.

In this dangerous world, love is a gift, to be given freely and without remorse.

Until it’s gone.

Then, there can be a little remorse.

Or a lot, if it’s as special as my Mazy and Sami.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1806 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Enchanter's End Game, David Eddings (okay, I know, I know, Eddings is a problematic, kept the kid in the basement and fed him fish heads with my wife kind of problematic, but this was still a strong series, and it ended beautifully.  I teared up a little at Polgara giving up all her power at the end, and then... well. I won't spoil it.  It's a goddamn shame that these days, no one can be brilliant without the caveat of cancellation.  I'm not saying he was right in what he did; I am saying we don't know what his eventual response was - this was all pre-publication.  Maybe he learned from it.  Maybe he grew.  Maybe his philosophies were shaped by his mistakes, in a way that opposed the error of his ways.  All I'm saying is that there are zero people in this world that are perfect; what matters is growth and change, not perfection.  If we insist on perfection, we end up with heartbreak.  Best to take a wider approach).
Comics: Marvel Team-Ups 14, Noble Causes 17-18, Invincible 28
Music: Forth, The Verve (sully on)

i have thoughts

Posted on by admin

I have to organize them, because the political climate automatically stigmatizes certain things, which is why certain allegations will always kill a campaign, regardless of truth, unless you’re a Republican, in which child rape is apparently still not the boundary of disqualification.

However, I want to say it right, because there are important conversations to be had around consent, around the presumption of guilt, and on the growing conclusion that the core of the Democratic establishment is, in fact, little better than their Republican counterparts, and needs to be ousted just as decisively as any and all Republicans.

Perhaps new parties are needed.

Certainly, it seems that way to me.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1156 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Enchanter's End Game, David Eddings
Comics: Noble Causes 14-16, Invincible 27
Music: Forgiveness Rock Record, Broken Social Scene

well that got away from me

Posted on by admin

Stupid me, doing actual work at the job that pays me. It takes too much time away from my goofing off.

Is there a way to get paid for goofing off?

Yes.

Many, Empty.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1527 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Enchanter's End Game, David Eddings
Comics: Noble Causes 14-16, Invincible 27
Music: FOREVER, Cracker (FOREVER)

exhale

Posted on by admin

The anger is going.

It is not gone, but the only way to truly forgive oneself is to let go.

Let go and take action.

That’s all one can do.

One cannot be free until one lets go of guilt, and then moves to make amends.

Or at the very least, not to repeat the mistake.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1594 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Enchanter's End Game, David Eddings
Comics: The Pact 1-2, Noble Causes 10, Invincible 0
Music: For Tomorrow, Blur

too much anger

Posted on by admin

Not just in the world, but in me.

I’m angry at the world’s situation.

I’m angry at myself, for wasting so much time.

I’m angry at myself, for not being a better man.

I’m angry at circumstances beyond my control.

I’m angry at being blamed for things I didn’t even do, and never would.

I’m angry at greed.

I’m angry at corruption.

I’m angry at myself for allowing depression to dictate the terms of my life.

I’m angry at other people, for constantly invading my time and space.

I’m angry, because I’m not nice enough, and because I cannot be less nice.

I’m angry at my own frustation.

I’m angry, again, at my inability to change any of this.

I’m angry at my inertia.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1818 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Definitely Dead, Charlaine Harris
Comics: Noble Causes 8-9, Invincible 21-22
Music: For Those About To Rock, AC/DC

in the olive of a dry martini

Posted on by admin

It’s funny, how ideas jump from place to place, little things that maybe the later progenitors didn’t even realize from where they came.

A bug in an olive in a martini. I first saw it in Danger Girl; turns out, it came as a suggestion earlier by “Count Diaz” in Wonder Woman.

J. Scott Campbell and I have seen the same shows (and if you’ve seen Campbell’s work, that he would have spent some time with Lynda Carter is unsurprising).

I feel like kindness is much the same way. Someone commits a small act. Someone else sees it; maybe it doesn’t register right away with them, but later, in a similar situation, they see that as a valid course of action.

Enough acts of kindness witnessed, and perhaps, in time, it will become the default course of action for us all.

One can only hope.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1357 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Definitely Dead, Charlaine Harris (definitely boring, already a third of the way through)
Comics: Noble Causes 3-4, Invincible 18-19
Music: For Blood And Empire, Anti-Flag

impressed with myself

Posted on by admin

I guess all that French Duolingo is paying off.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1557 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Definitely Dead, Charlaine Harris
Comics: Brit: Red, White, Black & Blue 1, Invincible 16-17, Noble Causes 2
Music: For All The Cows, Foo Fighters (I'm on a kick)

le canada

Posted on by admin

C’est mon pays.

Ce n’est pas parfait, et Pierre Poilievre est une grand fléau sur le paysage, mais je l’adore.

C’est tout.

Bonjour et bon soir, mes amis.

Tout va être bien, j’espère.

Objectif: 1600 mots
Écrit: 1589 mots, roman: Père Foudre

Lis: Gregor And The Code Of Claw, Suzanne Collins (I give up)
Bandes Dessinées: Invincible 13-15, Noble Causes 1
Musique: Footloose (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Various, but mostly Kenny Loggins, duh


almost heat stroke

Posted on by admin

I’m pretty sure. Thirty-six fucking C and I went grocery shopping. I was only outside for a couple of minutes going in and out of the grocery store and LCBO.

Apparently, unloading the groceries and taking out the garbage was too much for me.

Huge headache after. Needed ice water, sudden desire to turn our hot tub into a cold plunge.

But that would take too long.

Fuck.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 2009 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Gregor And The Code Of Claw, Suzanne Collins
Comics: Invincible 9-12
Music: Foot In Mouth, Green Day

i’m not a football guy

Posted on by admin

And I mean soccer for the locals. I don’t consider American football worth the effort – talk about boring. I mock soccer for being tedious (and it is, compared to hockey or basketball, and less interesting from a strategic standpoint than baseball), but man.

American football is so fucking dull.

Stop, go. Stop, go. Can’t score? Kick it (the only time in reality that anyone actually uses their goddamn foot on the ball, despite the name).

Put poor kids who had no other way out into a situation where all they have to do is injure themselves or others, and give some too much money, and the rest, string along for two to three years until they’re too broke down to compete, and bring in the next poor sucker who is on the verge of CTE.

Hockey has contact, sure, but there’s skill there. It’s not just about pounding into someone else for sixty minutes, while a handful of other guys actually get to show skill.

Anyway, of all the big sports, it’s by far the worst.

Or UFC.

UFC’s the worst.

UFC fucking sucks.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1334 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Gregor And The Code Of Claw, Suzanne Collins (I know it's YA and too young for me, but I'm so impressed with this series and how it handles its dark material.  I can't wait to see how it ends.)
Comics: Invincible 5-7, Brit: Cold Death 1 (I'll admit, I didn't get the hype at first, but there's been a good twist, so it's less generic now.)
Music: Your Favourite Toy, Foo Fighters (I know it's not the American spelling, but fuck.  You already gave up your freedom, America.  Why give up your Us as well?)