sometimes it’s tough

Posted on by admin

It can be very difficult to get in the head of someone who thinks so much differently than yourself.

Sometimes, it’s worse when it’s someone with whom you should identify, but who you’ve written as having one particular characteristic that’s utterly opposite to your own.

Like, say, a highly liberal man who finds sex disgusting.

Versus, say, me, also quite liberal, but lacks many boundaries. There are no off-limit topics to me.

I have boundaries, but I refuse to censor my life; I may not like the horrors (and perceived horrors which aren’t actually horrors) of the modern world, but I’ll not ignore their reality.

It’s hard for those of us who have spent a lifetime being comfortable wallowing in the dirt to relate to Howard Hughes.

Fear of dirt is as great a fear as any, and if what we all suspect is coming (Trump’s apocalypse) actually comes, well, then, we all better get a lot more used to it.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1460 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Born For This, Chris Guillebeau (I want to like the guy, but there's something just... missing in his style.  It's 'non-conformist', but in the most vanilla manner possible, at least in presentation, which makes even his good ideas a bland read.  Plus, it gets a bit repetitive; how many examples can you give without concrete directions or concepts that go beyond the barest of bones, borderlining platitude?  Ugh, some colour, some fire, man.  I wonder if he regrets using Thiel and Musk as examples, the way I would hope Tony Robbins regrets using just about everyone he's used, particularly Donald Trump.)
Comics: Bloodstrike 5-6, Brigade v2 5, Team Youngblood 3
Music: Which Side Are You On?, Anti-Flag

reconciliation

Posted on by admin

I would like to reconcile a lot of things; the question is, how?

Our pasts, personal and ancestral are littered with misdoings and tragedies.

How do we move on? Will we ever reach a point where we can be forgiven?

I’m not sure how to answer that. On one hand, I don’t want to spend my life feeling guilty for things I haven’t personally done, or heartbroken because of the sins of a world past my control.

On the other hand, we can’t just ignore it.

We have to level the playing field, I think.

No more classes; no more bigotry.

When that’s gone, I guess we can lose the last vestiges of shame and guilt and move on to joy and union.

So, a few million years ought to suffice. Where there are people, there will be abuse.

I think the trick is not to blanket the earth in order to deny the sun to the weeds.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1238 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Born For This, Chris Guillebeau
Comics: Image 0, Brigade v2 4, Team Youngblood 2, Bloodstrike 4
Music: Where You Been, Dinosaur Jr.

in the weeds now

Posted on by admin

I mean, I’m working harder than ever, and tomorrow’s a holiday, so we can sit and think about what we’ve done, which admittedly, is a weird reason for a holiday, and I’m not sure it’s tangible help to native communities, but here we are.

It’s probably better to ask them than me, but I suspect the answer is that we’re not doing enough to reconcile the sins of past with creating a better future for the indigenous.

In any case, not to make light, but I’ve spent the last fifty minutes trying to have a character explain why he’s still consider liberal if he’s opposed to butt stuff.

It’s a hygiene thing, not a commentary on homosexuality.

(The character, not me. You get your freak on, boys and girls. As long as it’s consensual and doesn’t involve children, animals or those not capable of making that decision, then you get on getting on.)

Anyway, life’s weird and horrible things that require solemnity often overlap with the absurd.

I think we’d die if we had to take it all so seriously (which ironically, sums out how we got to our current edge-of-Armageddon political apocalypse). We all got too sensitive, hunkered down, doubled down, doubled down again and instead of letting shit go a little and talking it out, we’re about to have a civil war a hundred kilometres or so to the south of us.

Lighten up, jerks. Drop the militants, and get back to using your words.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1249 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Born For This, Chris Guillebeau
Comics: Brigade v2 0, 3, Team Youngblood 1, Bloodstrike 4
Music: Where The Fuck Is The Revolution?, Closet Monster

huh that’s funny

Posted on by admin

I hit an exact number in my target today.

Go figure.

Bad Neighbours is finally evolving into something I can respect.

Another couple of rounds, and maybe, if I’m lucky, it’ll be suitable for consumption.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1300 words

Read: Memories Of The Future, Vol. 1, Wil Wheaton (not your best work, Wil)
Comics: Youngblood Strikefile 2-3, Youngblood Yearbook 1, Bloodstrike 3
Music: Where I Came From, Mudmen

exit music for a film

Posted on by admin

I don’t know why it’s stuck in my head, but it is.

We hope.

That you choke.

That you chooooOOOOoooke.

Something like that, right?

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1051 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Memories Of The Future, Vol. 1, Wil Wheaton
Comics: Brigade 4, Brigade v2 1-2, Youngblood 5
Music: Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone?, Harvey Danger (one of my youthful favourites)

blood tests

Posted on by admin

I finally found her.

I finally found the person that can’t hit my veins.

This, from the guy who once made a joke to a nurse, “I would have made one hell of a junkie.”

Goals, people.

Goals.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1661 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Last American Vampire, Seth Grahame-Smith
Comics: Bloodstrike 1-2, Youngblood Battlezone 1, Youngblood Strikefile 1
Music: When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, Billie Eilish (this is a great album, don't care what you say)

feelin’ a bit better today

Posted on by admin

No more nausea, and the Imodium I took ended the diarrhea, but as it so often does, bound me right the fuck up, which will be worse in a day or two.

Drugs.

Can’t live with ’em, can’t just enjoy being high.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1080 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Last American Vampire, Seth Grahame-Smith
Comics: Brigade 2-3, Youngblood 0, 4
Music: When Under Ether, PJ Harvey

and caught up

Posted on by admin

So many distractions. So little time.

If only life weren’t so filled with insanity.

Why must we be so insane?

Who lives simply?

Can I move there?

Would they let me?

Or would I merely be a refugee, a symptom of the disease of modern living that consumed us all?

I suspect turnabout is fair play.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1507 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Last American Vampire, Seth Grahame-Smith
Comics: Youngblood 1-3, Brigade 1 (jesus, Liefeld is a garbage writer)
Music: When The Pawn Hits The Conflicts He Thinks Like A King..., Fiona Apple (all time favourite female artist?  Very well could be, though I'm also big on Bjork, PJ Harvey, L7 and Veruca Salt)

ugh, gas

Posted on by admin

I’m now at my fourth (?) doctor telling me it’s just gas.

But really, when the pain is so severe, it doubles me over, or the distended belly comes out so far, I start getting lightheaded and threatening to pass out, is it really?

Why I can’t convince any one of these motherfuckers to get me some kind of test – ultrasound, scope, X-Ray, CAT, PET, MRI, I don’t even know which is best, but damn it.

Something.

Assholes.

Healthcare is fucked, and I’ll be honest, walking around like this?

There are points in the day where it’s so persistent and so severe that I’d rather not be walking around at all.

A little fucking help, guys.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1632 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Last American Vampire, Seth Grahame-Smith
Comics: Tomb Raider: Survivor's Crusade 3-4, Tomb Raider: Inferno 1-2
Music: When I Was Born For The 7th Time, Cornershop (featuring one of the catchiest tunes in 90s alternative history, but also, one of the songs that carries it on WAY too fucking long)