taoing

Mitchell:

The tao that can be told
is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named
is not the eternal Name.

The unnamable is the eternally real.
Naming is the origin
of all particular things.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations
arise from the same source.
This source is called darkness.

Darkness within darkness.
The gateway to all understanding.

LeGuin:

The way you can go
isn’t the real way.
The name you can say
isn’t the real name.

Heaven and earth
begin in the unnamed;
name’s the mother
of the ten thousand things.

So the unwanting soul
sees what’s hidden,
and the ever-wanting soul
sees only what it wants.

Two things, one origin,
but different in name,
whose identity is mystery.
Mystery of all mysteries!
The door to the hidden.

Feng/English:

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and Earth.
The named is the mother of the ten thousand things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations.
These two spring from the same source but differ in name;
this appears as darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gate to all mystery.

Legge:

The Dao that can be trodden is not the enduring and unchanging Dao.
The name that can be named is not the enduring and unchanging name.
(Conceived of as) having no name, it is the Originator of heaven and earth;
(conceived of as) having a name, it is the Mother of all things.
Always without desire we must be found,
if its deep mystery we would sound;
But if desire always within us be,
Its outer fringe is all that we shall see.
Under these two aspects, it is really the same; but as development takes place, it receives the different names.
Together we call them the mystery.
Where the Mystery is the deepest is the gate of all that is subtle and wonderful.

Susuki:

The Reason that can be reasoned is not the eternal Reason.
The name that can be named is not the eternal Name.
The Unnamable is of heaven and earth the beginning.
The Namable becomes of the ten thousand things the mother.
Therefore it is said: “He who desireless is found
The spiritual of the world will sound.
But he who by desire is bound
Sees the mere shell of things around.”
These two things are the same in source but different in name.
Their sameness is called a mystery.
Indeed, it is the mystery of mysteries.
Of all spirituality it is the door.

Goddard:

The Dao that can be understood cannot be the primal, or cosmic, Dao, just as an idea that can be expressed in words cannot be the infinite idea.
And yet this ineffable Dao was the source of all spirit and matter, and being expressed was the mother of all created things.
Therefore not to desire the things of sense is to know the freedom of spirituality; and to desire is to learn the limitation of matter.
These two things spirit and matter, so different in nature, have the same origin. This unity of origin is the mystery of mysteries, but it is the gateway to spirituality.

Notes:

Ironic how close this was to how Jay and I used to talk about nothing. You can’t describe nothing; the second you do, it becomes something. And yet, we all know what nothing is.

I’m not sure I like the darkness within darkness; it’s poetic, but Leguin’s mystery within mystery keeps the amorphous ethereal nature of it clear. I like Leguin’s version better here; Mitchell’s the name is the thing is too mystic.

The unwanting see the mystery because they’ve realized it’s not something that can be had, and yet, is everything; we both simultaneously can’t possess it, and yet, it’s part of everything. That’s the mystery, and it’s real.

When you think about where everything comes from… and how it got there; it’s analogous to Amatka, where things have to be named to keep form or they all fall back into the formlessness of the base element of creation.

All but our selves in that case, but in reality, we too, are a consequence of the Unmanifested. We are the named things, like everything around us. Only the unnamed, unmanifested, whatever, is not, nor could it be, because then, like nothing, it would be something. And yet, it’s everything.

The Feng-English translation is more cryptic, but I like that there’s not quite the same stigma on ever desiring as the Mitchell or Leguin versions. After all, desire is not necessarily bad. Mitchell and Leguin seem to suggest with their translation that if you’re desiring, you can’t see the Tao (the path, the way). You are somehow lesser than, more unenlightened.

The Feng-English translation is more straightforward; the two do not preclude each other. Desiring and seeing the manifestations (things as they are) are just part of it. Desireless, you see the mystery within a mystery, the darkness within darkness, (also, things as they really are), another part of it, that can connect you to the whole, not forgetting that the whole also includes desire and manifestation.

This is the key, the gate. When Leguin calls it the Aleph, she is not wrong.

Legge projects too much in trying to find rhymes; his version sounds more dictatorial, more of a mandate than a mystery. Like, you MUST be undesiring if you want any hope of finding the path, the way. Of finding the Tao.

But the Tao is everywhere and everything; its manifestations are not forever unchanging. They change, it’s all part of it. It’s all Tao, and that’s the kind of the point. Dropping the desire for it to be something specific is where one can get the full picture – that’s what undesiring gets you. But that Tao is in a diamond as it is in a lump of coal, as it is in us. It is all manifestation, all Tao. We accept it as it is to see that.

Mystery of mysteries again, in Susuki, though the idea of Reason being the analog for the Way is like Rand redux, and so, not exactly much of a thought for me. We’ve all seen how that’s worked out.

Selfishness as virtue? It was practically begging to be co-opted by the truly greedy to justify all their shitty behaviour, while missing the point entirely of an independent mind. Logic would not surely avoid every man for himself.

Anyway, outside the point here.

I like Susuki’s note about being bound by desire seeing only the shell; he brings it back to completeness by noting it’s all the same source.

Again, the rhyming. I somehow doubt that’s in the original.

I don’t like Goddard’s version of putting all understanding of Tao beyond our reach (because it’s not; it just can’t be expressed). I do like his use of word ineffable, and I love the idea that “being expressed was the mother of all created things”.

Like there’s this great thing behind the thing, not of the thing, under and through it, all around it, it is it itself, and when it is expressed, it births everything we see. It’s a joyful thought. I also adore the idea that in our desire for things, we learn the limitations of matter. Each is only a piece of the whole, and therefore limited, and yet, being of the whole, entirely infinite.

Such is the Tao.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 695 words, comic: The Stuff #4

Read: The Robber Bridegroom, Eudora Welty
Comics: Fairest 24-26, Fables 140
Music: 20/20 Division, Anti-Flag

pending doom?

Carney made a fantastic speech about middle countries banding together; Denmark and the other Nordic countries told Trump to pound salt, and the Americans are about to consume themselves in vitriol.

Over the tantrums of a dementia patient whose impulse control is worse than an ADHD toddler.

Good thing we’ve got an epic snowstorm on the way as well.

Man, these are wild times, screaming wilder all the time.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 863 words, comic: The Stuff 4

Read: The Robber Bridegroom, Eudora Welty
Comics: Fairest 22-23, Fables 138-139
Music: 20/20, The Beach Boys

heartburn, round two

Weirdly, I ate super light yesterday, but did have a customary glass of red wine, as one does, on Sundays.

We drink red wine on Sundays, or so my father-in-law tells me.

He’s also a man who feeds his other daughter ice cream and Coke for dinner on a regular basis, so he’s not exactly the sommelier we look for.

But still, for some reason we do it (and I do love a good red), but it seems to have triggered a relapse from the night before’s horrid gastrointestinal adventures, and now, I sit, having lost another couple of hours of wondrous sleep.

Plus some weird fuckin’ dreams.

Weird fuckin’ dreams, man.

I liked the ones I had before the acid set in; The Last Showgirl apparently wormed its way into my subconscious in the forms of Song and Ship.

Sorry, honey. It was involuntary. I can’t be held responsible for what my unconscious mind dredges up.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 3315 words, comic: The Stuff 4

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn (we're livin' the full catastrophe, all right)
Comics: Fables 135-137, Fairest 21
Music: 20 Years Of Hell, Vol IV, Anti-Flag/One If By Land

four hours

Maybe three. I love a good homemade lasagna, but goddamn.

Heartburn.

Followed by bile creeping up the throat in the fifteen minutes I first fell asleep.

Then a light, persistent cough. No amount of water, milk or Gaviscon would help.

Eventually, I took a sedative and said fuck it.

Two hours later, I’m patted on the face by a cat.

Maybe three.

Maybe two.

Sleep is a fucking bitch.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 321 words, comic: The Stuff 4

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fairest: In All The Land 1, Fables 134, Fairest 20, The Unwritten 54
Music: 20 Years Of Hell, Vol III, Anti-Flag/Worship This!

hockey day in canada

I guess it was up early and into the fray.

And now it’s drink o’clock. Toronto, please make it worthwhile.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 1016 words, comic: The Stuff #3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: The Unwritten 52-53, Fables 133, Fairest 19
Music: 20 Years Of Hell, Vol II, Anti-Flag/All Dinosaurs

shocking

Our niece facetimed us tonight.

She never facetimes us. She barely texts.

Miracles do happen.

We love that kid.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 694 words, comics: The Stuff #3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fairest 17-18, The Unwritten 51, Fables 132
Music: 20 Years Of Hell, Vol I, Anti-Flag/World's Scariest Police Chases (they call him ROBOCOP)

you still have to write stuff

And read.

And write.

And submit.

And follow up.

And debate whether it’s worth putting up stories on literary sites for critique when idiot admins are only going to fail to recognize that the misogynist is the BAD GUY. Seriously, I’ve two other stories I’d like to put up on Wattpad, one about a woman who gets revenge on a guy who kills a girl for rejecting him and another about a man who rants on how terrible his wife is, only to realize his neglect, infidelity and emotional abuse has caused her to commit suicide.

These are not ambiguous stories, in terms of who the bad guy is.

But I’m afraid, since Get Back Again was pulled, because whoever complained and whoever was responsible for reviewing the claim saw the story and missed the fucking point.

THE BAD GUY IS THE POV.

HE’S THE FUCKING BAD GUY.

It’s not a manifesto; it’s a bad dude who’s perspective is that he’s a good guy.

We’re all the heroes of our own stories, isn’t that the platitude?

Apparently, no one told them.

If it’s not a werewolf or vampire bad boy romance, they don’t care.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 3687 words, comic: The Stuff #3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fables 130-131, Fairest 16, The Unwritten 50
Music: 2+2=5, Radiohead

why are some things so bad?

Like this insanely bad commercial for Tim Hortons (which admittedly, is awful at basically everything).

How does something get that bad?

We talk about the human condition, and human potential, which I’ve been thinking about a lot lately because of The Stuff, and I think…

How is that someone’s potential? To make a fucking TERRIBLE commercial with an AWFUL jingle for BAD food? That’s what you chose for your life?

Fuck, man. I know I’m no great shakes, but shit. I’m not I-make-ads-that-the-MOST-mediocre-can-look-down-on bad.

Right?

Target: 1400 words
Written: 495 words, comic: The Stuff 3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fables 128-129, Fairest 14-15
Music: June 26, 1999, Metro/Smart Bar, Local H

absolution

I don’t think we get absolution in this life. All we do is all we are, and it never stops coming back to haunt us.

All it takes is a flicker; the pit opens. Guilt consumes.

Things said. Things done.

Things not done. Things not said.

Roads not taken and all that good shit. Roads taken, but driven with the speed of a maniacal drunk, or a fugitive with no regard for life or limb.

I do not believe in sorry forever. I do believe in sorry now.

There is no absolution, even in forgiveness.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 317 words, comic: The Stuff #3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fables 126-127, Fairest 12-13
Music: February 22, 1994, Palaghiaccio, Rome, Nirvana (and thus ends, for now, my collection of Nirvana bootlegs)

noise for dogs

I choose silence; they do not.

The TV is endless.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 671 words, comic: The Stuff #2

Read: Secrets And Lies: Digital Security In A Networked World, Bruce Schneier (good read, took me back to my script kiddie days)
Comics: Fables 124-125, Fairest 10-11
Music: January 8, 1994, Seattle Centre Arena, Seattle, Disc 1-2, Nirvana