the stuff

I think I saved the ending, but yeah, it really didn’t fit with the theme of the thing.

Man, I’m going to have to figure that out. You can’t build up this epic shit, then suddenly decide the protagonist (well, sort of a protagonist) is going to kill everyone (literally – like everyone).

Anyway, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about whether I have the stuff.

Obviously, astronaut has sailed, but in my chosen field (which I’ve yet to actually work in), do I have it?

That thing that makes great artists actually great?

Do I have that thing?

This, I do not know.

I suspect you only know it when you’re through it. And if you never do it, then guess what?

You don’t got it.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 710 words, comic: The Stuff 6

Read: The Shooting Party, Anton Chekhov
Comics: Fables: The Wolf Among Us 13-16
Music: 21 Guns Live, Green Day

i had something i wanted to say

But I no longer remember what it was.

I hate it when that happens.

It happens too often.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1028 words, comic: The Stuff 6

Read: The Broom Of The System, David Foster Wallace (I know this guy is revered, but this was exactly the kind of twaddle that I fucking hate, because it sounds pretty, means nothing, and gives pretentious idiots an excuse to pretend they're oh so much more cultured and intelligent than you, but nope, fucking twaddle, you sanctimonious craphound)
Comics: Fables: The Wolf Among Us 10-12, Fables 149
Music: 21 Guns, Green Day

well, that’s nice

Apparently, I wasn’t on the list of names on the chopping block for Carney’s cuts.

Yay, me. Tipple one up.

It’s a huge weight off my mind. Now, I can get back to focusing on writing a bunch of stuff and having it rejected all over the map.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2889 words, comic: The Stuff 6

Read: The Broom Of The System, David Foster Wallace
Comics: Fables: The Wolf Among Us 6-9
Music: 20th Century Masters - The Millenium Collection: The Best of Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy 

snow day cancelled

I was hoping with all this snow, they’d say work from home today, but nope.

We’re in the office. On the plus side, I never got the notice of possible layoff, so I guess I’m good for now.

I guess that’s a nice trade-off, when you think about it.

Still.

A snow day would have been cool. Think about it next time, bosses.

Think about it.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 465 words, comic: The Stuff 6

Read: The Broom Of The System, David Foster Wallace (I honestly don't know what I'm reading and whether I like it, or whether the schtick is wearing really thin)
Comics: Fables: The Wolf Among Us 4-5, Fables 148, Fairest 33 (I'm going to miss Fairest, and Cindy in particular - total bad ass)
Music: June 9, 2006, The Metro/Smart Bar, Local H

snow day

I’ve clear about ten centimetres off the deck already, but an hour later, you’d never know it. My footprints and my dog’s footprints both erased from history.

Let that be a lesson to you.

Mother Nature can wipe your ass out, and no one would ever even know you existed.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 990 words, comic: The Stuff 5

Read: The Broom Of The System, David Foster Wallace
Comics: Fables: The Wolf Among Us 1-3, Fables 147
Music: February 12, 2006, Durty Nellies, Local H

candied pecans

I don’t know how this day got so far away from me.

Editing, I suppose.

Editing is always time consuming. Yet here we are, with time to candy some pecans.

So, it ain’t all bad.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1613 words, comic: The Stuff 5

Read: The Broom Of The System, David Foster Wallace
Comics: Fairest 30-32, Fables 146
Music: 2006 - BBC Radio 1, The Strokes

pounding it through

Hammered. Plowed. Slammed. Bashed it out.

I’ve two issues left in The Stuff, and so far, I can’t believe it’s gone at the pace it has.

Good for me.

Golf clap for Empty.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2712 words, comic: The Stuff

Read: The Broom Of The System, David Foster Wallace
Comics: Fairest 28-29, Fables 144-145
Music: May 1st, 2004, Local H (auf wiedersehen)

so yesterday was weird, eh?

I’m not religious by any means, but I do believe in a realistic spirituality.

There’s more in heaven and earth and all that. Of all of the religions I’ve studied, Taoism seems the most logical and least formal, as well as the most in line with my beliefs.

Buddhism is, as well, but there are formalities and sexism and dogma with that, which are all things I try and stay away from.

Meditation is something I do; not a formal belief system that requires me to behave a certain way.

Ursula Leguin inspired me to study more into the Tao; that last contained notes I made on the opening passage.

I thought I might share them over time. People can bite back, discuss, suggest, casually realign my thought process by pointing out where I’m mistaken, what I’ve missed, or perspectives I haven’t discovered yet.

Personally, I love that.

Perspective and presence are what it’s all about, really.

All that is good – empathy, compassion, the enjoyment of life – stems from such things.

And who knows what’s beyond it?

Target: 1500 words
Written: 817 words, comic: The Stuff 5

Read: The Broom Of The System, David Foster Wallace
Comics: Fables 141-143, Fairest 27
Music: Veni, Vidi, Vicious, The Hives (FUCK.  YEAH.)

taoing

Mitchell:

The tao that can be told
is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named
is not the eternal Name.

The unnamable is the eternally real.
Naming is the origin
of all particular things.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations
arise from the same source.
This source is called darkness.

Darkness within darkness.
The gateway to all understanding.

LeGuin:

The way you can go
isn’t the real way.
The name you can say
isn’t the real name.

Heaven and earth
begin in the unnamed;
name’s the mother
of the ten thousand things.

So the unwanting soul
sees what’s hidden,
and the ever-wanting soul
sees only what it wants.

Two things, one origin,
but different in name,
whose identity is mystery.
Mystery of all mysteries!
The door to the hidden.

Feng/English:

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and Earth.
The named is the mother of the ten thousand things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations.
These two spring from the same source but differ in name;
this appears as darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gate to all mystery.

Legge:

The Dao that can be trodden is not the enduring and unchanging Dao.
The name that can be named is not the enduring and unchanging name.
(Conceived of as) having no name, it is the Originator of heaven and earth;
(conceived of as) having a name, it is the Mother of all things.
Always without desire we must be found,
if its deep mystery we would sound;
But if desire always within us be,
Its outer fringe is all that we shall see.
Under these two aspects, it is really the same; but as development takes place, it receives the different names.
Together we call them the mystery.
Where the Mystery is the deepest is the gate of all that is subtle and wonderful.

Susuki:

The Reason that can be reasoned is not the eternal Reason.
The name that can be named is not the eternal Name.
The Unnamable is of heaven and earth the beginning.
The Namable becomes of the ten thousand things the mother.
Therefore it is said: “He who desireless is found
The spiritual of the world will sound.
But he who by desire is bound
Sees the mere shell of things around.”
These two things are the same in source but different in name.
Their sameness is called a mystery.
Indeed, it is the mystery of mysteries.
Of all spirituality it is the door.

Goddard:

The Dao that can be understood cannot be the primal, or cosmic, Dao, just as an idea that can be expressed in words cannot be the infinite idea.
And yet this ineffable Dao was the source of all spirit and matter, and being expressed was the mother of all created things.
Therefore not to desire the things of sense is to know the freedom of spirituality; and to desire is to learn the limitation of matter.
These two things spirit and matter, so different in nature, have the same origin. This unity of origin is the mystery of mysteries, but it is the gateway to spirituality.

Notes:

Ironic how close this was to how Jay and I used to talk about nothing. You can’t describe nothing; the second you do, it becomes something. And yet, we all know what nothing is.

I’m not sure I like the darkness within darkness; it’s poetic, but Leguin’s mystery within mystery keeps the amorphous ethereal nature of it clear. I like Leguin’s version better here; Mitchell’s the name is the thing is too mystic.

The unwanting see the mystery because they’ve realized it’s not something that can be had, and yet, is everything; we both simultaneously can’t possess it, and yet, it’s part of everything. That’s the mystery, and it’s real.

When you think about where everything comes from… and how it got there; it’s analogous to Amatka, where things have to be named to keep form or they all fall back into the formlessness of the base element of creation.

All but our selves in that case, but in reality, we too, are a consequence of the Unmanifested. We are the named things, like everything around us. Only the unnamed, unmanifested, whatever, is not, nor could it be, because then, like nothing, it would be something. And yet, it’s everything.

The Feng-English translation is more cryptic, but I like that there’s not quite the same stigma on ever desiring as the Mitchell or Leguin versions. After all, desire is not necessarily bad. Mitchell and Leguin seem to suggest with their translation that if you’re desiring, you can’t see the Tao (the path, the way). You are somehow lesser than, more unenlightened.

The Feng-English translation is more straightforward; the two do not preclude each other. Desiring and seeing the manifestations (things as they are) are just part of it. Desireless, you see the mystery within a mystery, the darkness within darkness, (also, things as they really are), another part of it, that can connect you to the whole, not forgetting that the whole also includes desire and manifestation.

This is the key, the gate. When Leguin calls it the Aleph, she is not wrong.

Legge projects too much in trying to find rhymes; his version sounds more dictatorial, more of a mandate than a mystery. Like, you MUST be undesiring if you want any hope of finding the path, the way. Of finding the Tao.

But the Tao is everywhere and everything; its manifestations are not forever unchanging. They change, it’s all part of it. It’s all Tao, and that’s the kind of the point. Dropping the desire for it to be something specific is where one can get the full picture – that’s what undesiring gets you. But that Tao is in a diamond as it is in a lump of coal, as it is in us. It is all manifestation, all Tao. We accept it as it is to see that.

Mystery of mysteries again, in Susuki, though the idea of Reason being the analog for the Way is like Rand redux, and so, not exactly much of a thought for me. We’ve all seen how that’s worked out.

Selfishness as virtue? It was practically begging to be co-opted by the truly greedy to justify all their shitty behaviour, while missing the point entirely of an independent mind. Logic would not surely avoid every man for himself.

Anyway, outside the point here.

I like Susuki’s note about being bound by desire seeing only the shell; he brings it back to completeness by noting it’s all the same source.

Again, the rhyming. I somehow doubt that’s in the original.

I don’t like Goddard’s version of putting all understanding of Tao beyond our reach (because it’s not; it just can’t be expressed). I do like his use of word ineffable, and I love the idea that “being expressed was the mother of all created things”.

Like there’s this great thing behind the thing, not of the thing, under and through it, all around it, it is it itself, and when it is expressed, it births everything we see. It’s a joyful thought. I also adore the idea that in our desire for things, we learn the limitations of matter. Each is only a piece of the whole, and therefore limited, and yet, being of the whole, entirely infinite.

Such is the Tao.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 695 words, comic: The Stuff #4

Read: The Robber Bridegroom, Eudora Welty
Comics: Fairest 24-26, Fables 140
Music: 20/20 Division, Anti-Flag

pending doom?

Carney made a fantastic speech about middle countries banding together; Denmark and the other Nordic countries told Trump to pound salt, and the Americans are about to consume themselves in vitriol.

Over the tantrums of a dementia patient whose impulse control is worse than an ADHD toddler.

Good thing we’ve got an epic snowstorm on the way as well.

Man, these are wild times, screaming wilder all the time.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 863 words, comic: The Stuff 4

Read: The Robber Bridegroom, Eudora Welty
Comics: Fairest 22-23, Fables 138-139
Music: 20/20, The Beach Boys