Category: sex

gossip girl

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What a weird show. My daughter and wife are working their way through it, and man, it’s just terrible.

It’s Days Of Our Lives with a higher budget, that’s all. I can only imagine the body image issues those poor actresses all had to deal with to be on the show.

None of them seem all that well-adjusted in real life.

Michelle Trachtenberg’s dead. Taylor Momsen seems a proper mess, and the less said about Blake Lively at this point, the better, am I right?

I don’t know what happened between her and that dude from that movie, but it seems pretty clear that it’s a hell of lot more nuanced than her side would have had you believe, slotting itself into a generic #MeToo dynamic and assuming lawyers and publicists would grant her an easy win.

To me, as a woman, I’d be just as pissed at someone exploiting the #MeToo movement for their own personal gain. When it’s high profile like that and it turns out that the person is at best exaggerating, it hurts the credibility of every other victim out there. Look at the whole Jian Ghomeshi thing. If they’d done it properly, instead of trying to litigate through the media, dude would actually have been found guilty.

Anyway, rant over.

Sorry I’m probably wrong.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1068 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe
Comics: Hawk And Dove 2-5
Music: Easter, Patti Smith Group (certain people I feel in my soul; Lou Reed and Patti Smith are pretty close to the top of that list)

easter monday

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Jesus is hungover. Or rather, he’s been on a bender all night watching pornography and eating Cheetos, and now, he’s wondering if he can turn those powers of water into wine into returning his foreskin to its original colour.

But, hey, it’s a day off, right?

(For the record, I’m not Jesus, and Cheetos are terrible lube.)

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1177 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe
Comics: Hit-Girl v3 11-12, Kick-Ass vs. Hit-Girl 1-2
Music: Early Trax, Ministry

he is risen!

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Or maybe, he’s just figured out how to google Sydney Sweeney, and now he’s down a rabbit hole of AI-generated porn and short clips from Euphoria and The Voyeurs.

Anyway, I cooked two turkeys yesterday and a ham today, so I have not risen. I have fallen onto the couch to watch my beloved Maple Leafs destroy their hated rivals, the evil Sens. Any euphoria I have will come from that, and any voyeuring I do will be with my beautiful wife, who also has a spectacular bod.

Anyway, happy Easter, be nice to each other. I think that was Jesus’ whole deal, once you strip away the religious bullshit.

Too bad Christians haven’t quite figured that out.

Target; 1200 words
Written: 965 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe
Comics: Hit-Girl v3 8-10, Kick-Ass v4 18
Music: Eagles Essentials, The Eagles

amsterdisney

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I went in the mid-nineties and the Red Light District was pretty wild. During the day, it was wild, but at night, damn. The girl I went with (fellow exchange student, not girlfriend or prostitute) and I were fascinated.

Now, there’s parents running around with kids. I went to Sexmuseum and came out ill last time because you know, the shit that was in there went want beyond anything I would ever even consider (think beastiality and worse). Now, I watched a mother pose with a bearded drag queen outside, then take what had to have been her eight and ten year old in.

What happened?

We have Disney prostitutes, instead of Disney princesses. (Of course, it’s a hundred percent certain you’ll find an Ariel and a Jasmine in one of those windows. Don’t ask me how much; I’m all for sex workers not being stigmatized, but paying for sex is not my jam.)

Anyway, saw a Van Gogh and the Night Watch.

I guess culture comes in all forms.

Target: 1100 words
Written: 111 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Melusine, Sarah Monette
Comics: Hit-Girl 1-4
Music: It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back, Public Enemy (so good)

bone holes

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It’s not a sex reference, although that would be a funny way to refer to them (yes, I said them – there are at least four).

On the other hand, it was a hole in the bottom of the church where they start tucking in the bones of the deceased when they run out of room to bury them in the yard.

That’s a little fucked, right?

Anyway, the Black Forest was cool, but how do people eat black forest cake without getting pulled over a DUI? The amount of schnapps that girl soaked the cake in had to have been criminal.

On the plus side, if you get pulled over, you can honestly say, “I haven’t drank a drop.”

Target: 1100 words
Written: 558 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Road Through The Wall, Shirley Jackson
Comics: Cyber Force v4 6-9
Music: Irvine, CA, Sublime

hidden action

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I started writing a sex scene, then realized, it actually makes for a better story to hide the sex act that is causing our main character such grief.

It’ll be revealed later on in the book, but for now, mystery is the way to go.

Target: 1100 words
Written: 1569 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Adam Bede, George Eliot
Comics: Ripclaw v3 1, Cyblade: Pilot Season 1, Velocity v2 1, Cyblade 1
Music: Invisible Lantern, Screaming Trees (so underrated)

thinking a lot about sex today

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Not because I need to get some (I do) or that I’m particularly feeling my oats (I am), but that’s mostly because for the first time, I’m writing a sex scene.

(Well, not the first time, but the first time in canon. I alluded to the father’s use of a late night laptop session in The Mungk, and a couple of the short stories referenced sex – Get Back Again’s misogynist ghost threatening/chastising his murderer with abuse/promiscuity, Forest Edge’s main victim being a prostitute, its villain getting what comes to him at the hands of the prostitute’s best friend after being seduced, oh, and Western Cradle, which deals almost exclusively with a woman’s revenge for the murder of her family and her own gang rape).

Okay, well, then, this is the first time in canon, and also, the first time where the character is engaged in a consensual act that they really have no love for.

It’s something I would do without hesitation, and would hope my partner is open enough to find fun and sexy, but Walter, the main… he’s a little repressed. Well, a lot repressed.

And so, this is hard for me to write, because I don’t have a lot of boundaries, and it’s difficult for me to get into the mindset of someone who does. For me, it’s no big deal; it’s play.

For others, it’s world shattering.

For me, it’s fun; for Walter, it’s disgusting (hygienically and morally).

And believe me, we aren’t talking anything that weird here.

You’ll see when it’s all done.

When it finally comes out.

When any of this comes out.

Most of it has gone nowhere.

I might be getting a little stale.

Target: 1100 words
Written: 685 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Adam Bede, George Eliot
Comics: Cyber Force v3 4-6, Cyber Force & X-Men 1
Music: Invisible, Everclear

chili cookoff

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Off to Wolfhead for the great chili cookoff.

We’ve got to bring at least one dog with us (not ours), because leaving her at home is asking for destruction and a possible heart attack brought on by separation anxiety.

She’s a cute girl, but man, needy.

Of course, she’s curled up on my lap, happy as a clam, right now, and it’s very sweet, so no complaints.

Also, why are clams so happy?

Beyond the obvious double entendres regarding cunnilingus, which certainly makes me happy.

But a clam itself?

What’s up with that?

Target: 1100 words
Written: 128 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: You Are Here, Chris Hadfield
Comics: Shadowhawk v6 2-5
Music: In The Valleys Of Our Hearts, The Long Lots (locals, check 'em out, they're terrific, especially live)

fantasies

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We all have them, whether it’s a kiss with that cute boy, climbing Everest, kicking the shit out of a political figure who badly needs it, or just a quiet Sunday morning with a cup of tea and a danish.

There’s nothing wrong with them.

It’s nice to have the simulation; it just shouldn’t stop us from making it a reality.

Go ahead. Enjoy your lurid fantasies; just don’t harm anyone in their pursuit (except maybe that particular political figure, and maybe you ought to run out all of your peaceful resistance options first).

Violence is never cool.

Target: 1100 words
Written: 103 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
Comics: Shadowhawk v5 10-13
Music: In The City, The Jam

never let it be said

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That I’m not grateful for the love I have to give.

Remember too that conflict tempers; steel is not made hard with gentle caress.

That’s for penii.

(I’m so sorry).

Target: 1100 words
Written: 73 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
Comics: Shadowhunt 3-5, Return Of Shadowhawk 1
Music: In Rainbows, Radiohead