of long walks

I’ve walked probably about fifty New York City blocks of varying lengths and my dogs are barking.

Still. I appreciate what the city has to offer and all, but damn.

I am peopled the fuck out.

There are too many people on this planet. I’m not calling for a plague or anything, but like, people, stop breeding.

Republicans claim to be pro-life, but man, abortion is one of the many ways we can help this planet by not contributing to overpopulation, unhappiness, children and parents in poverty or abuse, because they weren’t ready and didn’t want kids… you’re contributing to fucking misery and death, the death of us all, with your anti-environmental, anti-woman, anti-life stances.

Like fucking vegans, you’ve taken a high-minded principle (don’t abort fetuses or eat animals), and missed the actual real world impact of such a stance, both from a moral, and historical standpoint.

The most “noble” of intentions based on completely flawed premises (of course, I’d also argue that vegans may actually have noble intentions, but Republicans, given their pro-gun, pro-capital punishment and pro-who-gives-a-fuck-what-happens-to-the-kid-after-they’re-born stance, are entirely disin-fucking-genuous).

Anyway, people. Keep fucking, but stop breeding, for Pete’s sake, whoever Pete is.

Target: 700 words
Written: 962 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Assholes Finish First, Tucker Max
Comics: Danger Girl: Renegade 3-4
Music: Other Pirate Material, The Streets

merrily we roll along

I usually hate musicals (and parts of this I didn’t care for), but this was still pretty good.

I guess maybe I’m okay with musical comedies?

If they star Daniel Radcliffe and Jonathan Groff?

Yeah?

Maybe?

Target: 700 words
Written: 1382 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: It Devours!, Joseph Fink, Jeffrey Cranor
Comics: Danger Girl: Mayday 3-4, Danger Girl: Renegade 1-2
Music: The Original Cowboy, Against Me! (EVERYTHING EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!)

chelsea morning

I think if I lived in New York, it’d be in Chelsea. Something about the vibe.

Of course, I hate people and I could never afford it, but you know, the vibe.

Still, space and quiet are more important to me. And besides, I’ve never bought into this idea that because something is from a big city, it’s automatically “better”. Street food in New York is no better than street food anywhere else (and I’ll die on the hill that Chicago dogs are the absolute fucking pinnacle of that kind of street food – New York’s is generic shit).

I might even say Chicago deep dish is better than New York pizza, that, in fact, having had pizza in many different parts of the world, I would actually rank New York pizza lower than most.

Toronto is the same fucking way. This attitude that bigger is better is idiotic. That might be true of Broadway shows, but let’s face it, a small indie flick usually has infinitely more depth and quality than a big budget action thriller or a star-driven rom-com.

Sometimes, the actual jungle is cooler is than the concrete one.

Target: 700 words
Written: 497 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: It Devours!, Night Valians
Comics: Danger Girl: The Chase 3-4, Danger Girl: Mayday 1-2
Music: The Original Broadway Cast Recording Of American Idiot (hey, when in Rome, right?)

fifteen years

Here we are, at Tony DiNapoli’s in New York City, my lovely wife and I (and our daughter), enjoying family style fettucine alfredo and baked ziti over a glass of Chianti, because we can.

Because we’ve been married for fifteen lovely years, together for seventeen. I don’t necessarily believe in the reality of monogamy (and I think the insistence causes a lot of unhappiness in the world), but I wouldn’t choose anyone else to share these years with.

I can, without any doubt, say that I am a better man today for her, and for me.

Happy anniversary, darling.

Target: 700 words
Written: 293 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: It Devours!, The Night Vale Guys
Comics: Danger Girl: Trinity 3-4, Danger Girl: The Chase 1-2
Music: Origin Of Symmetry, Muse

new york bound

I can’t afford this trip, but my daughter and wife decided we must go see some musical with Daniel Radcliffe on Broadway.

I hate musicals, but Daniel Radcliffe’s pretty great and I guess, the rest of New York is all right.

So we’ll do this, regret it later, and I’ll probably have to work a bunch of OT to catch up.

Fuck me.

Target: 700 words
Written: 367 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Fully Engaged, Thomas Sterner
Comics: Danger Girl/G.I. Joe 3-4, Danger Girl: Trinity 1-2
Music: Organic Soundball, Red Hot Chili Peppers

you searched for… asparagus

Sometimes, I wonder, why is this my life?

Why am I sitting on a couch, searching French asparagus recipes in a pair of swim trunks and an old St. Patrick’s Day t-shirt?

I should be sunning on the beaches of Ibiza or sauntering around Vienna or Santorini, or sharing drinks with Jimmy Buffett on St. Lucia. I should be enjoying the isolation of Lapland or the bustling, noisy markets of Marrakesh or the flowing drift of the Yangtze.

I should be surrounded by people I love, not people I haven’t let get close enough to really truly be myself with.

But, then… asparagus is pretty good. I’m a big foodie, I have a nice family, I’ve done plenty of travelling, to beaches and rivers and cities and tundra and so forth.

And Jimmy Buffett is dead.

Today is about wanting what you don’t have. Today is about appreciating what you do.

And thinking the world is a worse place without the margarita man. Rest well, Mr. Buffett. I too don’t know where I’m’a gonna go when the volcano blows.

Target: 500 words
Written: 400 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: The Sword Of Shannara, Terry Brooks
Comics: Y The Last Man 41-44
Music: Vivid, Living Colour

back to work

No rest for the weary. No breaks for the forlorn.

No quarter given to the depressed.

Life is a cruel motherfucker. Part of me wonders if I died when I was younger and this was my own personal hell, offering me chance after chance for happiness, but then inflicting such insecurity and depression to fuck them all up.

Life gives us joy only so we know the pain of taking it away (thanks, Kelly).

Life shows us joy so we know what we’re losing.

Target: 400 words
Written: 1030 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: The Fire Starter Sessions, Danielle Laporte
Comics: Nailbiter Returns 2-5
Music: Various non-album songs, Tragically Hip (my personal muses)

aromatherapy

Well, we did it.

Despite the unending disembarkation syndrome (sea legs in your head), and a head-tattoo-ed right winger wearing a Grunt Style t-shirt with a smoking handgun and the word Aromatherapy on it, we made it home.

(Seriously, who wears a shirt like that on a plane? Or anywhere for that matter. Thanks you making us all wonder the whole trip if you were going to shoot up the joint. I noticed you had a “first trip to Disney” button attached to your backpack. What did you wear to the Magic Kingdom? A tank top that read Child Molester? Seriously though, I thought you neo-Nazi gun nuts hated the mouse right now?)

We are home, and our dogs and cats are ecstatic. I am ecstatic. Too many crowds. Too much togetherness.

I’m ready for a real vacation.

Target: 400 words
Written: 323 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: The Fire Starter Sessions, Danielle Laporte
Comics: Nailbiter 28-30, Nailbiter Returns 1
Music: Keepin' The Summer Alive, The Beach Boys (hey, we're back now, seemed apropos)

drinks with rednecks

I think it’s good to share a drink with the enemy sometimes.

See, the thing is that in the media, and particularly in social media, it becomes very, very easy to paint everyone with a particular brush. If you believe the right wingers on social media, all lefties are part of a millions-strong conspiracy to use fake science to push an agenda of… ending pandemics and climate change (it is unclear how we profit from these deceits), while using immigrants as fake voters to protect our ability to do so. Of course, if you listen to most right wing bloggers (and their bots/commenters), lefties are all pedophiles, and somehow, vaccinations and green energy helps with that? I’ve never understood the logic of what they think our motivations are. I’ll guarantee it’s not pedophilia, and there are an awful lot more headlines of right wingers getting busted for that stuff than there are drag queens and other lefty icons (Bill Clinton aside – sorry, Bill, but that’s fucked up and you should go down for it).

On the left, however, we tend to think of right wingers as hateful, uneducated, mindless boors, Nazis slavering over their chance to cleanse the population of all but straight, white males and their subservient women, but the truth is more complicated than that. If all you ever read is left-wing bloggers and newspapers, I’ve got news for you. You’re only seeing the worst of the worst there. If you’ve ever actually spent time with a southerner, for example, you’d know that despite their political views, most of them are pretty genial. They don’t spit racial slurs in the faces of minorities (although they will probably say it behind their back, in couched terms), and the majority of them, split off from the rhetoric, are actually quite nice. Even kind of fun. There’s a good natured, joshing camaraderie that’s a breath of fresh air when compared to the pearl clutching culture of non-offense and victim identity often experienced in my usual left wing circles. Despite the fact that I completely disagree with Trumpism and the politics of bigotry, I do agree with one thing: we’re too fucking precious here on the left.

Being offended is good, if it’s something really, truly to be offended by. But tiptoeing around everyone because we’re afraid of the constant threat of labelling and outrage, of possible cancellation, for even a perceived (not actual) slip? It’s a poor way to live, if only for our own mental health.

I miss the Nineties, when we young, grungy punks opted out, opposing bigotry and authoritarianism while declaring no topics off-limits, no subject too dirty. We all got to be fucked up in our own ways, but if we were being whiny little bitches about it, we got called out. If we weren’t, we got hugs and sympathy.

It’s good to eat shit every once in a while. It’s good to poke a hole in the old ego, the identity, especially if it’s one that disempowers us and makes life miserable for those around us.

Fucking have a drink. Have a laugh. Get off the high horse, and don’t engage the bullshit. Find common ground. Forget the stereotypes and take them as they are – imperfect representations of things that may or may not resemble them.

Because that’s the problem with stereotypes: at some point, you have to deal with the actuality of the person or people you’re trying to stereotype. If you can drop the stereotype and find that common ground, all the bullshit goes away, and you can have a pretty decent time. You may not agree on everything; you may vehemently disagree on some things, but if you set the preconceived notions aside…

Well, shit. It’s almost like we’re all human.

Target: 400 words
Written: 227 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Aesop's Fables
Comics: Nailbiter 24-27
Music: Katy Perry Essentials, Katy Perry (don't judge me, I love the tongue-in-cheek aspect.  I appreciate someone who doesn't take herself too seriously.)

return to the cape

I can’t lose the sea legs. Every time I sit down, my head feels like I’m still on the waves.

I am not looking forward to sleeping.

I am also looking forward to sleeping.

Is that a metaphor for life or what?

Target: 400 words
Written: 247 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: The Power Of Now, Eckhart Tolle (so, so much to say about this fraud, but again, it's for a book idea)
Comics: Nailbiter 20-23
Music: Karma Police, Radiohead (I mean, these guys... not so much the later, more pretentious stuff, but everything up to OK Computer, right?)