back to office

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It’s every bit as bad as I thought.

At least, I’m in a side room, not the main floor, but my boss is right in the room with me (though she’s cool – a cousin of my wife, though neither of knew the other existed prior to me starting there – she looks like a younger version of my wife).

It’s weird though, so quiet. I feel like I’m breathing too heavy, like everyone is watching me.

It’s creepy, keeping my back up.

Hopefully, I get used to it, because otherwise, the background stress of being there is going to kill me.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 702 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear
Comics: Fear Agent 13-16
Music: Even If And Especially When, Screaming Trees

on the verge

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Tomorrow, we start this back to week program. It’s only three days a week, but I’m not sure how that’s going to affect my writing schedule.

Weeks were I’m in now tend to be struggles to find time, because of the extra prep and travel time involved, but I had two weeks to catch up if things went off.

Now… every week, possibly three days where I’m having to get up earlier or stay up later or drop other things I need to do in order to keep up?

Or worse, postponing everything to try and shove them in Thursday or Friday, or that other time that we’re supposed to have time but don’t, a weekend?

I am fretting.

Yes. Fretting.

Okay, freaking out.

I want this life, and I’m tired of fighting myself for it; I certainly don’t need the rest of the world piling on.

The Mungk left me hopeless, fatalist.

Bad Neighbours only feeds my anger.

I don’t need any more anger.

I have always had more than enough.

Fuck.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 611 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Almayer's Folly, Joseph Conrad
Comics: Fear Agent 9-12
Music: Euphoria Mourning, Chris Cornell (god, I miss that voice)

don’t judge me

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Eighty-three words may not seem like a lot, but I had to pore through the entire manuscript to find a few scraps of information that I need to keep straight for the next draft. I’ll be making my notes on the next draft next, and then, working on a larger ‘out-of-context’ grouping, where I got through the whole manuscript again, and all my notes and try to find where I’ve made notes on scenes other than the one I was supposed to be making notes on (a problem of mine I’ll need to learn to track better). If I make a great suggestion in a note because I had a thought while making notes on scene five, but for scene twenty-eight, well, I’ll never remember by the time I reach that point.

So, yeah.

If I want it all included later, I need to get more organized.

Still, I’m a bit better than I was, though The Mungk needed less organization, given it was so short. A better framework will be needed going forward.

No more flying by the seat of my pants.

Maybe not even any pants at all.

Maybe a nice skirt, or a pair of waders.

Sorry.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 356 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Almayer's Folly, Joseph Conrad
Comics: Fear Agent 5-8
Music: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, Various

light action

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Oh, it’s a day to play.

Or relax.

Or bust ass until there’s no time left.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 89 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Fear Agent 1-4
Music: The Essential Weird Al Yankovic, Weird Al Yankovic (sometimes, absence makes the heart totally forget how awesome something is)

second draft

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And that’s that.

I think I added enough to make it all much better than the shit pile that is always a first draft, a solid foundation that doesn’t need major adjustment (hopefully), only tweaking to take decent to good, then good to great, then great to hopefully, epic.

Transcendent, even.

And in all fairness, my expectations are low. I considered my higher expectations met for The Mungk when I knew three people had read it. If I sold twenty-five hundred copies, it’d be divine. Twenty-five thousand would probably be orgasmic.

Transcendent, even.

My expectations for Bad Neighbours are higher, because it’s more ambitious, but still. It’s within reason for a wildly successful novel. Stephen King’s worst shit probably sold more than my top expectations for this thing.

But you never know.

Someday. Orgasmic.

Transcendent, even.

One can clearly hope. The question is whether hope is anything more than a wish in one hand, and you know what in the other.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 2214 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Soulfire: The Core 1-2
Music: Essential Thorogood, George Thorogood & The Destroyers

it’s the seventeeth

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That doesn’t mean anything; it just means Trump is deranged and about to start World War 3 with Iran, all while his own country descends into total chaos.

There needs to be another vote, like yesterday. Surely, there’s buyer’s remorse.

There is such a thing as a recall vote; they need to implement that for presidents as well.

Here, I’d just like ranked voting, so I can voice my displeasure with Carney’s globalist, big business agenda while not automatically handing the election to the fascists on the right.

It’s the biggest swindle going; the gravy train never stops for corporations, and we all lose our actual choice, so that we don’t descend into authoritarianism under guys like Harper, Scheer and Poilevre.

What a fucking scam.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1275 words

Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Fathom v8 5-6, Fathom: The Core 1-2
Music: The Essential Cyndi Lauper, Cyndi Lauper (okay, not totally on board, but I respect what she's done for women and LGBTQ+ communities, and she has a song about rubbing one out, so that's cool)

last full week from home

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At least until I become a big, successful writer and people are watching The Mungk and Bad Neighbours on the screen (working title, of course, though I’m not sure what else to call it at this point. Shelley doesn’t seem right, and Lemon is the wrong focus).

Anyway, I’m going to try and enjoy that, at least, before everything gets fucked.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 2049 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Fathom v8 1-4
Music: The Essential Billy Joel, Billy (oh dear god, it got worse) Joel

and we’re home

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What a fun weekend.

Parentals can be a bit much at times, but she’s a great kid.

One only hopes she stays that way as she gets older. After all, people change. They have trauma, their parents’ unintentional lessons start to sink in and then, boom, they either turn out just like them or they go the opposite direction.

Shit happens.

Stay crazy, little girl.

It’s the only way to survive.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1569 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Aspen Visions: Fathom 1, Fathom v7 7-8, Aspen Visions: Soulfire 1
Music: The Essential Bangles, The Bangles, what, why?

babysittin’

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I fuckin’ love it. Man, this kid is fun. Hide-and-seek, bubble parties, mini-golf, beaver tails, iced cream and a dance recital.

We are packing it in today, son.

She’s going to crash so hard.

And so, probably, are we.

Good exhaustion is the best kind of exhaustion.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1340 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
Comics: Fathom v7 4-6, Aspen Visions: Executive Assistant Iris 1
Music: The Essential Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, I mean, Alice In Chains

happy anniversary

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Sixteen years married, and I don’t regret it. I may have a few nitpicks, but for the most part, we’ve had a decent life together.

We’ve travelled the world, had some pretty great sex at times, have a wonderful granddaughter together and we’ve managed to avoid the pitfall of most couples, where they base their relationships around the concepts of “my wife is a shrew/my husband’s a lazy, useless asshole”.

I’m kind of proud of that last one.

I mean, who the fuck wants their relationship to based on the sentiment of “Take my wife. Please.”

There’s probably worse things to base a relationship on (a mutual love of murder or shared enrolment in the Klan, for example), but there’s certainly not a worse concept that’s more common.

Anyway, happy anniversary, love.

Let’s keep seeing the world, and surrounding ourselves with better people.

Some of these people ain’t working.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1459 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
Comics: Aspen Universe: Decimation 4, Fathom v7 1-3
Music: The Essential (Remaster), Concrete Blonde (love Joey)