Author: admin

heartburn, round two

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Weirdly, I ate super light yesterday, but did have a customary glass of red wine, as one does, on Sundays.

We drink red wine on Sundays, or so my father-in-law tells me.

He’s also a man who feeds his other daughter ice cream and Coke for dinner on a regular basis, so he’s not exactly the sommelier we look for.

But still, for some reason we do it (and I do love a good red), but it seems to have triggered a relapse from the night before’s horrid gastrointestinal adventures, and now, I sit, having lost another couple of hours of wondrous sleep.

Plus some weird fuckin’ dreams.

Weird fuckin’ dreams, man.

I liked the ones I had before the acid set in; The Last Showgirl apparently wormed its way into my subconscious in the forms of Song and Ship.

Sorry, honey. It was involuntary. I can’t be held responsible for what my unconscious mind dredges up.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 3315 words, comic: The Stuff 4

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn (we're livin' the full catastrophe, all right)
Comics: Fables 135-137, Fairest 21
Music: 20 Years Of Hell, Vol IV, Anti-Flag/One If By Land

four hours

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Maybe three. I love a good homemade lasagna, but goddamn.

Heartburn.

Followed by bile creeping up the throat in the fifteen minutes I first fell asleep.

Then a light, persistent cough. No amount of water, milk or Gaviscon would help.

Eventually, I took a sedative and said fuck it.

Two hours later, I’m patted on the face by a cat.

Maybe three.

Maybe two.

Sleep is a fucking bitch.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 321 words, comic: The Stuff 4

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fairest: In All The Land 1, Fables 134, Fairest 20, The Unwritten 54
Music: 20 Years Of Hell, Vol III, Anti-Flag/Worship This!

hockey day in canada

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I guess it was up early and into the fray.

And now it’s drink o’clock. Toronto, please make it worthwhile.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 1016 words, comic: The Stuff #3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: The Unwritten 52-53, Fables 133, Fairest 19
Music: 20 Years Of Hell, Vol II, Anti-Flag/All Dinosaurs

shocking

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Our niece facetimed us tonight.

She never facetimes us. She barely texts.

Miracles do happen.

We love that kid.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 694 words, comics: The Stuff #3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fairest 17-18, The Unwritten 51, Fables 132
Music: 20 Years Of Hell, Vol I, Anti-Flag/World's Scariest Police Chases (they call him ROBOCOP)

you still have to write stuff

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And read.

And write.

And submit.

And follow up.

And debate whether it’s worth putting up stories on literary sites for critique when idiot admins are only going to fail to recognize that the misogynist is the BAD GUY. Seriously, I’ve two other stories I’d like to put up on Wattpad, one about a woman who gets revenge on a guy who kills a girl for rejecting him and another about a man who rants on how terrible his wife is, only to realize his neglect, infidelity and emotional abuse has caused her to commit suicide.

These are not ambiguous stories, in terms of who the bad guy is.

But I’m afraid, since Get Back Again was pulled, because whoever complained and whoever was responsible for reviewing the claim saw the story and missed the fucking point.

THE BAD GUY IS THE POV.

HE’S THE FUCKING BAD GUY.

It’s not a manifesto; it’s a bad dude who’s perspective is that he’s a good guy.

We’re all the heroes of our own stories, isn’t that the platitude?

Apparently, no one told them.

If it’s not a werewolf or vampire bad boy romance, they don’t care.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 3687 words, comic: The Stuff #3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fables 130-131, Fairest 16, The Unwritten 50
Music: 2+2=5, Radiohead

why are some things so bad?

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Like this insanely bad commercial for Tim Hortons (which admittedly, is awful at basically everything).

How does something get that bad?

We talk about the human condition, and human potential, which I’ve been thinking about a lot lately because of The Stuff, and I think…

How is that someone’s potential? To make a fucking TERRIBLE commercial with an AWFUL jingle for BAD food? That’s what you chose for your life?

Fuck, man. I know I’m no great shakes, but shit. I’m not I-make-ads-that-the-MOST-mediocre-can-look-down-on bad.

Right?

Target: 1400 words
Written: 495 words, comic: The Stuff 3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fables 128-129, Fairest 14-15
Music: June 26, 1999, Metro/Smart Bar, Local H

absolution

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I don’t think we get absolution in this life. All we do is all we are, and it never stops coming back to haunt us.

All it takes is a flicker; the pit opens. Guilt consumes.

Things said. Things done.

Things not done. Things not said.

Roads not taken and all that good shit. Roads taken, but driven with the speed of a maniacal drunk, or a fugitive with no regard for life or limb.

I do not believe in sorry forever. I do believe in sorry now.

There is no absolution, even in forgiveness.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 317 words, comic: The Stuff #3

Read: Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Comics: Fables 126-127, Fairest 12-13
Music: February 22, 1994, Palaghiaccio, Rome, Nirvana (and thus ends, for now, my collection of Nirvana bootlegs)

noise for dogs

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I choose silence; they do not.

The TV is endless.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 671 words, comic: The Stuff #2

Read: Secrets And Lies: Digital Security In A Networked World, Bruce Schneier (good read, took me back to my script kiddie days)
Comics: Fables 124-125, Fairest 10-11
Music: January 8, 1994, Seattle Centre Arena, Seattle, Disc 1-2, Nirvana

sellin’

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I was reading old posts (Christ, 2024 Empty, what the fuck were you thinking?) and I still haven’t figured it out.

How the fuck do I get people to buy my stuff without having to go full social media whore or pretend to be something I’m not?

People both love and hate preachy; see Tolle, Eckhart.

But I hate it. I’d rather be honest (even if I’m not always) and show warts and say, here, I did something cool!

Or better yet, take myself fully out of the equation.

Here’s a cool thing. Enjoy!

Don’t worry about the man behind the mask. We never used to.

Now, it’s up to us to be paragons, or be cancelled.

Unfortunately, only one of those things is ever actually possible. Anything else is a fucking act.

PR to stave off the betrayal when we find out we aren’t actually perfect.

Flawed in private, public perfection. Fuck that. I’m perfectly imperfect, and proud of it.

It’s the only way we ever could be. It’s only how we feel about that fact that makes a difference.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 1267 words, comic: The Stuff #2

Read: Secrets And Lies: Digital Security In A Networked World, Bruce Schneier (we're into the weeds now)
Comics: Fables 122-123, Fairest 8-9
Music: November 1994, Astoria Theatre, London, Beck (bet you thought it was going to be Nirvana)

bangin’

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A very productive day, all around.

Well, except for this.

Target: 1400 words
Written: 3425 words, comic: The Stuff #2

Read: Secrets And Lies: Digital Security In A Networked World, Bruce Schneier
Comics: Fairest 6-7, Fables 121, Fables: Werewolves Of The Heartland 1
Music: August 30, 1992, Reading Festival, Nirvana