Author: admin

on the verge of existential crisis

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It’s bizarre to me how when I throw on the headphones at work and put on an album, that it doesn’t matter what it is, it hits me somewhere directly in the raw nerve feelings, and every workday in the office begins to feel like an existential crisis.

Today, for example, I swerved from Transplants to Jimmy Buffett to Cameron Halcombe and Billie Eilish, and it felt like absolute hell, in the most incredible way. Nirvana didn’t help.

Why are all my nerves raw?

Why am I experiencing such psychotically exquisite depth of feeling?

Why so barenerved?

Like my chest, ripped to pieces.

Why?

And why don’t I hate it?

Target: 1600 words
Written: 960 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Stephen King
Comics: Invincible 79-81, Guarding The Globe 5
Music: From The Muddy Banks Of The Wishkah, Nirvana

wildfires

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Every asshole who still plays politics with climate change, rather than putting their backs into doing everything to slow it down, mitigate it or stop it altogether needs to be put out to pasture, removed from any source of power, and quite frankly, made to live in the hells they’ve created, until they realize what they’ve fucking done.

Go live in hurricane heavy areas, tornado alley, wildfire communities, the fucking glaciers in the Arctic and Antarctica. Go live on an island that’s sinking.

Motherfuckers.

Then come back and tell us it’s just a fucking leftist ploy.

Assholes.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1683 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Stephen King
Comics: Guarding The Globe 3-4, Invincible 77-78
Music: From The Hills Below The City, Houndmouth

when you hate the thing you do

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And you’re back from vacation, and they assign you work that sucks…

I’m going to be honest. I nearly walked today. I definitely sent a passionate reply regarding the propagation of AI in the Canadian government, plus a spicy response to the quality assurance process, wherein they dinged me for two mistakes that someone else made.

Hell of a way to come back.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1509 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Stephen King
Comics: Dynamo 5: Sins Of The Father 5 (please no more), Guarding The Globe 2 (please no more), Invincible 75-76 (yeah okay, I'm good with this)
Music: From London To Jamaica, The Clash (is it okay to love The Clash/Sublime, because they're good, even if they're white guys appropriating reggae?  I don't care.  It's good.)

and back

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The old cats haven’t yet taken to the new cat, despite a week of close confines and no interference. That’s not great.

Poor girl. She deserves better. She needed better.

We’re giving it to her, but the old boys need to chill the fuck out.

Feels like a metaphor for gender politics (or politics of all kinds in the western world), doesn’t it?

Target: 1600 words
Written: 2001 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Stephen King
Comics: Dynamo 5: Sins Of The Father 3-4, Invincible 74, Guarding The Globe 1
Music: From Here To Eternity Live, The Clash (my wife saw them open for The Who; I'm beyond jealous)

the long drive home

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Can I ask: what possesses some people to risk their lives and the lives of everyone around them?

Example: dipshit ahead of me, in the midst of a Muskoka mid-summer thunderstorm, coming down so hard you can’t see your own hood at thirty kilometres/hour, and he’s fucking tailgating the guy in front of him?

I mean, how fucking dumb can you be?

Apparently, not just dumb, suicidal, homicidal and utterly callous in regards to yourself and the people you’re putting in danger.

Fuck, man. Smarten the fuck up.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 914 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Father Lightning
Comics: Invincible 72-73, Dynamo 5: Sins Of The Father 1-2
Music: From A Basement On A Hill, Elliott Smith

one last day

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But hopefully, not the last forever.

If everyday, I could look out my back door and see nothing but wilderness and lake (and ideally, front door and all windows as well), life would be utterly perfect.

Life is utterly perfect right now.

Perfect.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1293 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Stephen King
Comics: Invincible Presents: Atom Eve & Rexsplode 3, Invincible 70, 70.5, 71
Music: Frogstomp, Silverchair (also forgot how good this was)

rainy day card games

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And other such fun. We did get out for lunch, which was nice, but yeah. If I’m going to be stuck in my cabin all day, maybe it shouldn’t be with the whole gang, and no time to read, and a goddamned plugged toilet minutes before I go to bed (not my fault).

I’ll be honest. I am short-fused when I don’t get that sweet, sweet alone time.

It is something I wish the people around me truly understood.

It is something the world, in its current incarnation, barely understands, with its constant notifications, constant connection, constant updates.

Never was a world more lonely than the one where no one ever shuts up.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 2604 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Stephen King
Comics: Invincible 68-69, Invincible Presents: Atom Eve & Rexsplode 1-2
Music: Frizzle Fry, Primus (fuck, I forgot what a killer album this is)

fences

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See, that’s what I love about up here. The penchant and desire for kindness and neighbourliness is so strong that the big local scandal is people who put up fences between properties.

Now, I understand the need for fences sometimes. Our Great Pyrenees would be halfway to B.C. if we didn’t have a fence in our backyard.

But I get it. Barriers between people seen as an affront.

How could that not be a wonder?

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1038 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Stephen King
Comics: Dynamo 5 24-25, Invincible 66-67
Music: Friends, The Beach Boys (not today, with these fences, apparently)

the water

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Today, I return to the cold depths of Lake Temagami.

I cannot wait.

It’s like anywhere we go with the water – rivers, lakes, oceans or otherwise.

It is the lungs of the earth. The heartbeat.

There is no better way to commune.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1611 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: The Stand, Stephen King
Comics: Dynamo 5 22-23, Invincible 64-65
Music: Friction, Baby, Better Than Ezra (what a dick you must have been to have someone name a band after how much better than are than you)

cigars and candybars

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Another milestone hit. I might actually finish this thing. I figure I’ve got about three months or so left in Father Lightning, and then, maybe…

Just maybe…

I’ll actually let someone read it.

I’ll celebrate that fact with a nice Perla, and then probably a Kit Kat. Or Aero. Or whatever.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1850 words, novel: Father Lighting

Read: The Stand, Stephen King (goin' great, boss)
Comics: Dynamo 5 21, Invincible 61-63
Music: Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables, Dead Kennedys