Category: personal

am i overdoing it?

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People expect me to be so competent and capable, at things I don’t have experience with, and it’s fine, I can learn, but to jump from knowing how to hammer a nail to fixing a freezer unit and a blown water line?

I LACK THE BASICS, SON.

The curse of being labelled smart. You never really fucking are.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 820 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Magic Kingdom For Sale - Sold!, Terry Brooks
Comics: Badrock And Company 2, Bloodstrike 15, Team Youngblood 14, Troll Hallowe'en Special 1
Music: The White Stripes, The White Stripes

priority treatment

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Squeaky wheel gets the grease, they say, just like the loudest, most obnoxious voice in the room always thinks they’re right, because volume is apparently the only measure of correctness, to some.

Personally, the quietest, least persistent voice is the one I want to hear the most.

I’m tired of being shouted down, and I’m tired of loud people who won’t shut up getting the head of the line.

Shut up, asshole, and get the fuck out.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1615 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Magician's Gambit, David Eddings
Comics: Team Youngblood 13, Youngblood 8, Youngblood Strikefile 6, Brigade v2 12
Music: A White Sport Coat And A Pink Crustacean, Jimmy Buffett

dot dot dot

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I’ve been thinking about corpses all day and it’s something I’d rather not.

It hasn’t left me with a lot to say.

I’ve seen too many, and too far gone. Death is a part of life; if you believe the anti-immortals, it’s what gives meaning to life; mostly, I think it adds time pressure, an urgency we don’t always feel.

So many of us don’t feel it at all, do we?

What a waste, man. What a waste.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 961 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Magician's Gambit, David Eddings
Comics: Troll: Once A Hero 1, Youngblood Strikefile 5, Badrock And Company 1, Bloodstrike 14
Music: White Light, White Heat, White Trash, Social Distortion

i miss ease

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Do anyone else miss ease?

Just, fucking easy?

Right?

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1674 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Magician's Gambit, David Eddings
Comics: Youngblood Battlezone 2, Bloodstrike 12-13, Team Youngblood 13
Music: White Light/White Heat, The Velvet Underground

i’m not a bad person

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I’m just stupid and exhausted.

So, in that sense, I’m a lazy, dumb person, which is pretty well equivalent.

At least, if you’re a MAGA, it is.

Slam, bitches. Thank goodness I’m not.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1516 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Magician's Gambit, David Eddings
Comics: Youngblood 7, Team Youngblood 11, Brigade v2 11, Troll II 1
Music: White Crosses, Against Me! (one of the truly great modern punk albums)

where does it go

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Time, it slips away so easily. One minute, you’ve got it all.

Then…

Like Keyser Soze, it’s gone.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1181 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Dead To The World, Charlaine Harris
Comics: Brigade v2 9, Bloodstrike 10, 25, Team Youngblood 9
Music: White Blood Cells, The White Stripes

sometimes it’s tough

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It can be very difficult to get in the head of someone who thinks so much differently than yourself.

Sometimes, it’s worse when it’s someone with whom you should identify, but who you’ve written as having one particular characteristic that’s utterly opposite to your own.

Like, say, a highly liberal man who finds sex disgusting.

Versus, say, me, also quite liberal, but lacks many boundaries. There are no off-limit topics to me.

I have boundaries, but I refuse to censor my life; I may not like the horrors (and perceived horrors which aren’t actually horrors) of the modern world, but I’ll not ignore their reality.

It’s hard for those of us who have spent a lifetime being comfortable wallowing in the dirt to relate to Howard Hughes.

Fear of dirt is as great a fear as any, and if what we all suspect is coming (Trump’s apocalypse) actually comes, well, then, we all better get a lot more used to it.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1460 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Born For This, Chris Guillebeau (I want to like the guy, but there's something just... missing in his style.  It's 'non-conformist', but in the most vanilla manner possible, at least in presentation, which makes even his good ideas a bland read.  Plus, it gets a bit repetitive; how many examples can you give without concrete directions or concepts that go beyond the barest of bones, borderlining platitude?  Ugh, some colour, some fire, man.  I wonder if he regrets using Thiel and Musk as examples, the way I would hope Tony Robbins regrets using just about everyone he's used, particularly Donald Trump.)
Comics: Bloodstrike 5-6, Brigade v2 5, Team Youngblood 3
Music: Which Side Are You On?, Anti-Flag

reconciliation

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I would like to reconcile a lot of things; the question is, how?

Our pasts, personal and ancestral are littered with misdoings and tragedies.

How do we move on? Will we ever reach a point where we can be forgiven?

I’m not sure how to answer that. On one hand, I don’t want to spend my life feeling guilty for things I haven’t personally done, or heartbroken because of the sins of a world past my control.

On the other hand, we can’t just ignore it.

We have to level the playing field, I think.

No more classes; no more bigotry.

When that’s gone, I guess we can lose the last vestiges of shame and guilt and move on to joy and union.

So, a few million years ought to suffice. Where there are people, there will be abuse.

I think the trick is not to blanket the earth in order to deny the sun to the weeds.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1238 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Born For This, Chris Guillebeau
Comics: Image 0, Brigade v2 4, Team Youngblood 2, Bloodstrike 4
Music: Where You Been, Dinosaur Jr.

and caught up

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So many distractions. So little time.

If only life weren’t so filled with insanity.

Why must we be so insane?

Who lives simply?

Can I move there?

Would they let me?

Or would I merely be a refugee, a symptom of the disease of modern living that consumed us all?

I suspect turnabout is fair play.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1507 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Last American Vampire, Seth Grahame-Smith
Comics: Youngblood 1-3, Brigade 1 (jesus, Liefeld is a garbage writer)
Music: When The Pawn Hits The Conflicts He Thinks Like A King..., Fiona Apple (all time favourite female artist?  Very well could be, though I'm also big on Bjork, PJ Harvey, L7 and Veruca Salt)