Off to Trenton. Off to grandbaby.
She’s about to go into JK. Jesus Christ.
Life is draining away at an exponential rate, isn’t it?
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1339 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: East Wind: West Wind, Pearl Buck (not my usual fare, but I really liked this - bring me into a world, I don't care what genre or style, and this did that)
Comics: Tomb Raider & Witchblade 1, Witchblade & Tomb Raider 1, Tomb Raider 1-2
Music: We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions, Bruce SpringsteenIs it just me, or is this year moving like a freight train whose throttle is wide open and stuck down?
Barreling toward an inevitable conclusion that can only be catastrophe?
I’ll admit, Bad Neighbours, being largely about conflict and unreality, about dichotomy and the endless fight of us versus them, it’s done a number on me.
I know, as a writer, you have to live in the space about which you’re writing. When I did Romance #1, it was fun and goofy, ironic and sardonic. Western Cradle was about trying to make shit out of suffering. The Mungk was months of exploration into trauma and hopelessness.
The fatalism nearly got me.
But I’m largely conflict-averse in my life, so this obsessing over the fight, being at war, at odds with each other, especially in light of the world’s political situation, it’s anathema. And it’s bleeding into the rest of my life.
I’ll be glad when this is done, for more reasons than just completion and the pride of having finished it.
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1794 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: East Wind: West Wind, Pearl Buck
Comics: The Seasons 6-7, Escape 1
Music: We Rebuilt This City, Closet MonsterI mean, that’s a step up from yesterday, right?
Right?
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1572 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: East Wind: West Wind, Pearl Buck
Comics: The Seasons 4-5, Grommets 7, Napalm Lullaby 10
Music: We Love Life, PulpYep. Someone wedged something under the toilet seat at work, and while I thought it felt a little weird, I didn’t think much of it, until I realized it had changed the angle of my pee, allowing it to shoot out over the top of the bowl and straight onto the back of my shorts.
If I ever become a big name that people look up to, or my ego starts to get too big, I’m going to specifically reference this point in my life as a reminder of humility.
Or mortification and failures in spectacularly humiliating fashion.
Either way, if that doesn’t take you down a peg, I don’t know what will.
Target: 1300 words
Written: 255 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Magician: Apprentice, Raymond Feist
Comics: The Seasons 2-3, Napalm Lullaby 9, The Sacrificers 15
Music: We Care A Lot, Faith No MooreI mean, I had fun, but I wanted it to be so much better. The others were going on about how great the guy was, but I found the band super loose, and the singer was mucking up lyrics (and moving around entire verses) wholesale.
I’m not sure the hangover is worth that.
Sorry, dude, Gord Downie, you ain’t.
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1127 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Magician: Apprentice, Raymond Feist
Comics: Napalm Lullaby 5-6, The Sacrificers 10, Grommets 3
Music: Wayne's World Soundtrack, Various ArtistsNo time, guv. Big plans, big plans.
Anger babies are birthing.
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1398 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Magician: Apprentice, Raymond Feist
Comics: Napalm Lullaby 4, The Sacrificers 9, Grommets 2, The Holy Roller 7
Music: The Way It Is, Bruce Hornsby & The Range (the WHOLE range)I feel like I’m about to collapse.
It’s been thing after thing after thing, and trying to find time to write anything has been next to impossible. I’m stealing sleep to do it.
Fuckin’ hell, I don’t know why all of a sudden, everything, for months, is so fucking busy.
I hate it.
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1496 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Magician: Apprentice, Raymond Feist
Comics: The Sacrificers 8, Napalm Lullaby 3, The Holy Roller 6, Grommets 1
Music: Wave Of Mutilation: The Best Of Pixies, The PixiesWould that I was. Fresh off reading the Bible all the way through, about to have my first drink, my first drug, my first real make-out session (my first kiss happened in grade one with a girl named Jessica, who ironically, was not my childhood sweetheart – that was Shelley, who my parents tell me is now some kind of super junkie, so, uh, I guess I had an early type), my first summer love, my first experiences with weed, mushrooms, acid and sex (not all at thirteen, of course, though it was a close thing).
I was told how smart I was; they made it sound like natural talent, so I never felt like I needed to learn how to put effort in. Things came too easy, and that fucked me later on, when they didn’t, and I didn’t know how to buckle down and study.
Classic fixed mindset, that didn’t shift until my mid-thirties.
I backed up that insecurity with bluster and bravado.
Bullshit.
And now, thirty-five years later, I still fight the demons of youth.
I’m not a junkie, not yet. I’m quite possibly an alcoholic, though I’d disagree with the sentiment, given that I’m rarely drunk and don’t actually have more than about a six-pack in a week.
I just like it, okay?
Leave me alone, dad.
Fuck.
Labatt 50 was my first sip of beer, and goddamnit. It sucked.
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1140 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Magician: Apprentice, Raymond Feist
Comics: Napalm Lullaby 1-2, The Holy Roller 5, The Sacrificers 7
Music: Wave, Patti Smith GroupI’m a contrarian. I don’t do it on purpose. There’s just something in my brain that hears an opinion or a thing accepted as fact and can’t help but play devil’s advocate and ask: what if it wasn’t?
It’s an absurd desire to see the other, that I can’t quite avoid. I used to call it opening worlds, and that’s a good an explanation as any, but it comes down to this. Whatever the view is, I want to see the other one.
Or another one. There’s rarely just two. It means constant growth, and it avoids dogma, but it does tend to put one on the outs with everyone else.
Always asking the question: what are the other ways to look at this? What if it’s not?
What if there’s another way?
What if there’s a hundred?
What about a thousand?
What if it’s infinite?
It’s taken me a long time to get used to the idea that this will never end, that there can be no end to perspective and questions.
And if puts me at odds with humanity, well, so fucking be it.
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1026 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Hammered, Elizabeth Bear (finally, enjoyed it, but too much interference)
Comics: The Sacrificers 6, The Holy Roller 2-4
Music: Wasting Light, Foo FightersOur little pup still isn’t pooping. On top of that, we’ve had non-stop storms all night, which scare the shit (not literally in this case, though that would solve one problem), so she’s been freaking out and keeping us awake.
Nice to come home to – an exhausting week away followed by a night of three hours’ sleep, before you have to go back and pretend like you wanted to come back to the office.
I’m too tired to pretend.
Target: 1300 words
Written: 1928 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Hammered, Elizabeth Bear
Comics: The Sacrificers 3-5, The Holy Roller 1
Music: Wasted... Again, Black Flag