Category: personal

the world must be terrifying

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I mean, it is, but if you went by all these 911/CSI/NCIS shows (the U.S. Navy must have the highest peacetime mortality rate of any branch of service in the world), or by the local news, you’d swear you were about to get ganked around every corner.

I think there’s a lot more kindness happening than that.

Although… why is this newslady smiling about the murder/suicide that resulted in an apartment building half-burning down?

This is a twisted planet.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1400 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: On Cats, Charles Bukowski (I'll admit, I teared up at the Manx)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 34-35, WildC.A.T.S./X-Men 1, Grifter v2 8
Music: Far Side Of The World, Jimmy Buffett (and now you know why I'm chill today)

scream therapy

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Is this still a thing? I feel like maybe I could get more into kindness if I could just scream it out first.

Or a rage room, but that seems like it’s: a) creepy and b) likely to cause me injury.

After all, I can dislocate a toe by pivoting on one foot, or throw my back out tying shoelaces.

Smashing shit with a sledgehammer seems maybe a bit fraught.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 897 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice (fucking brilliant)
Comics: Grifter 6-7, WildC.A.T.S. 32-33
Music: Famous Monsters, The Misfits

retro gaming

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I’m not a crazy retro gamer like some people, but I enjoy revisiting classics – things I played like Final Fantasy or Metal Gear, and things I missed the first time around, like the early Elder Scroll games.

Unfortunately, my lack of free time makes grinding in RPGs a long haul, a total slog I can’t get into for five minutes here or there.

On the plus side, I managed to finish Final Fantasy III (actual 3, not the American 3) and man, what a long time coming. It’s taken me over 2 years to get through the first three, plus Metal Gear (which went pretty quickly).

Hopefully, the next ones, I can find some more time for it.

Or give up and dedicate myself wholeheartedly to life, but what fun is there in that?

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1764 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice (modern classic, up there with all the other modern classics)
Comics: Grifter v2 1-3, WildC.A.T.S. 31
Music: The Family Tree, The Ramones

9-1-1

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I’ve no desire to watch any of those types of show, but I think I would if they were based on the ones that were considered the “worst” 9-1-1 calls.

Like the one complaining that their neighbour is wearing too much cologne.

Or there’s a domesticated-looking bunny in the park.

That motherfucker. How dare he?

Target: 1500 words
Written: 720 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice (I'm so into this; I forgot how fucking good it was)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 29-30, Spawn/WildC.A.T.S. 4, Grifter/Shi 2
Music: Family Man, Black Flag

one off notes

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Sometimes, I look back on my notes and can’t help but either shake my head or laugh.

Occasionally, in the middle of snippets about sentence structure or opining over character motivation, there will be an unexpected political rant or description of a whole other scenario for a character that would never fit into the book.

Entire lives and tragedies will have been lived out within the random scraps of my writings, entire storylines, whole new books carried out over a half a page. Tortures, ecstasies, vindications, justifications, explanation, exhortations and belittling of the idiot writing it all down.

It’s actually pretty common for me to make a note of how much I suck in the middle of editing notes.

For the record, I’m probably not as bad as all that, but since nothing’s really been published yet, I might be.

Of course, I’m living for the kindness now, and that does reflect on the self.

Be nicer to yourself, Empty. There’s no getting away from you, after all.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2050 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice
Comics: Grifter 10, Grifter/Shi 1, Spawn/WildC.A.T.S. 3, WildC.A.T.S. 28
Music: Family, Cat Stevens

tax day

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I’ve never had to pay, but there’s always a first.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1462 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice
Comics: Spawn/WildC.A.T.S. 1-2, Grifter 9, WildC.A.T.S. 27
Music: The Fallout, Default

who’s that ray-ray?

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He’s our baby boy of nearly sixteen years. His twin died last year, and he has been on a downward slide since.

He’s not the same; he looks like he’s out of it a lot.

I fear we might not have much longer with our boy.

Man, that sucks.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2410 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Against The Fall Of Night, Arthur C. Clarke
Comics: Zealot 2, Wildstorm: Chamber Of Horrors 1, Grifter/Badrock 1, WildC.A.T.S. 24
Music: Faith, The Cure

repetition

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I think it’s time I got more serious about writing and exploring kindness.

See, The Mungk took me to a dark place because I was thinking about trauma, abandonment and isolation the whole time. The Conflagration of Boor and Aghast made me angry, because tapping into the outrage machine and felt helplessness of modern politics can’t help but do so (also, didn’t help that Trump launched his reign of terror).

Father Lightning is, at its core, an exploration of kindness. So rather than bogging down in anger and hopelessness or despair, it was meant to re-centre me, and re-focus on compassion and empathy and treating people with kindness and respect.

But here I am, thinking about anger and trauma, again.

Going forward, no more pain and anger (well, some pain and anger).

The primary focus of this blog will be kindness, and everything that goes along with it.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2195 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Time For A Tiger, Anthony Burgess (when I started reading this, I thought it might be about an actual tiger, or a tiger as a metaphor for Malaysia near the end of British rule, but nope - a Tiger is a warm beer, and our protagonist spend most of their time not wanting to do anything but stop what they're doing and go have one.  Weird premise, Burgess.  I mean, I understand the sentiment, but weird thing to focus a book on.)
Comics: Voodoo/Zealot: Skin Trade 1, Zealot 1, WildC.A.T.S. 23, Team One/WildC.A.T.S. 2
Music: Facelift, Alice In Chains

midnight library

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My daughter is listening to this audiobook, and I can’t help but think it dovetails with my idea of an afterlife (of just spending all one’s time exploring all the possible scenarios and things one wanted to know in one’s life), only instead of curiosity and wanting to know what one’s missed, it’s a testament to human restlessness, of its ridiculous dissatisfaction with literally everything.

FOMO is destroying the world.

Of that, I have no doubt. Envy is a real bitch.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 506 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Time For A Tiger, Anthony Burgess
Comics: Team One/WildC.A.T.S. 1, Spartan: Warrior Spirit 1, WildC.A.T.S. 22, Grifter 3
Music: Face Dances, The Who