It’s funny how going in Monday to Wednesday makes it feel like you’ve done Monday to Friday already, and then you have to somehow go home and DO ANOTHER TWO DAYS.
Horrid, this whole bit.
I don’t know why we ever went to an office in the first place.
Seems counterproductive.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 1441 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Dragonflight, Anne McCaffrey
Comics: Deadly Class 20-21, Low 13-14
Music: Exogenesis: Symphony, MuseSeriously, our systems are down, I can do nothing, but sit through tedious mandatory training curriculum.
At least the Metis part was interesting.
Stewardship and privacy, on the other hand, I know all this.
Tedious As Fuck.
Also, happy Fourth of July to Americans who didn’t vote for Trump.
For Trump, fuck you.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 1071 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Agent To The Stars, John Scalzi
Comics: Black Science 12-14, Deadly Class 12
Music: Evil Dead: Original Broadway Cast Album, Original Broadway CastAnd not productive.
This is one of those days where no matter what I touch, it’s kind of fucked.
You know the days.
Days that hate you.
Like today hates me.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
But Trump still runs the U.S.A., so probably not.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 730 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Agent To The Stars, John Scalzi
Comics: Black Science 11, Deadly Class 10-11, Low 6
Music: Everything Went Black, Black FlagHow three days can feel like five.
Even knowing you still technically have two to go.
At least, they’ll be from home.
Ugh.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 1383 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear (I want to like it, but it's so... dull)
Comics: Fear Agent 25-28
Music: Evergleam, EverclearI still don’t like it, and there’s even more people here today.
Zero out of ten, do not recommend.
Work from home, kids, in any way you can.
Hell is other people, as a smart man once said, but it’s also the self.
Basically, we live in hell, the darkest timeline, whatever, the world actually ended in 2012, and we’re just lost in a collective nightmare where things only get worse, no one can stop it and we’re all doomed to live out our days watching things turn to shit.
This is why you don’t put the boy back at work; he’s less likely to spiral.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 1121 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear
Comics: Fear Agent 21-24
Music: Even Flow, Pearl Jam (ahh... palate cleanser - Dirty Frank)Yeah, it’s even busier at work today.
The schedule shows quieter days on Thursday and Friday, especially.
Maybe I can switch it up?
Target: 1200 words
Written: 694 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear
Comics: Fear Agent 17-20
Music: An Evening With Neil Gaiman & Amanda Palmer, Neil Gaiman & Amanda Palmer (I know, I know, furthering my assertion that there is absolutely no correlation between skill and the relative moral quality of a particular human being - see Spacey, Kevin)It’s every bit as bad as I thought.
At least, I’m in a side room, not the main floor, but my boss is right in the room with me (though she’s cool – a cousin of my wife, though neither of knew the other existed prior to me starting there – she looks like a younger version of my wife).
It’s weird though, so quiet. I feel like I’m breathing too heavy, like everyone is watching me.
It’s creepy, keeping my back up.
Hopefully, I get used to it, because otherwise, the background stress of being there is going to kill me.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 702 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear
Comics: Fear Agent 13-16
Music: Even If And Especially When, Screaming TreesTomorrow, we start this back to week program. It’s only three days a week, but I’m not sure how that’s going to affect my writing schedule.
Weeks were I’m in now tend to be struggles to find time, because of the extra prep and travel time involved, but I had two weeks to catch up if things went off.
Now… every week, possibly three days where I’m having to get up earlier or stay up later or drop other things I need to do in order to keep up?
Or worse, postponing everything to try and shove them in Thursday or Friday, or that other time that we’re supposed to have time but don’t, a weekend?
I am fretting.
Yes. Fretting.
Okay, freaking out.
I want this life, and I’m tired of fighting myself for it; I certainly don’t need the rest of the world piling on.
The Mungk left me hopeless, fatalist.
Bad Neighbours only feeds my anger.
I don’t need any more anger.
I have always had more than enough.
Fuck.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 611 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Almayer's Folly, Joseph Conrad
Comics: Fear Agent 9-12
Music: Euphoria Mourning, Chris Cornell (god, I miss that voice)At least until I become a big, successful writer and people are watching The Mungk and Bad Neighbours on the screen (working title, of course, though I’m not sure what else to call it at this point. Shelley doesn’t seem right, and Lemon is the wrong focus).
Anyway, I’m going to try and enjoy that, at least, before everything gets fucked.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 2049 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Fathom v8 1-4
Music: The Essential Billy Joel, Billy (oh dear god, it got worse) JoelI’m taking the day tomorrow. Mostly, because we’ve been asked to take care of our granddaughter for the day/weekend (yes, sir! No problem, sir!), but because I am spiralling. I’m really not in a good place for work.
I feel like I’m behind, overworked, disorganized, putting way too much personal pressure on myself to meet standards and targets, and that’s not just work.
It’s me, fucking myself up.
Self-destructing, as always, and wanting to scrap it all and start again.
But I’ve done that too often.
I’ve come too far and I’m out of time.
After all, Donald Trump’s fascist state may invade or bomb us at any time. The psycho’s capable of anything, if it feeds his sad, little ego.
So, yeah.
Taking the day tomorrow.
Fuck Donald Trump.
Target: 1200 words
Written: 1106 words, novel: Bad Neighbours
Read: Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
Comics: Fathom v6 8, Aspen Universe: Decimation 1-3
Music: The Essential (1955-1983), Johnny Fuckin' Cash