end me, week

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I don’t think I’ve felt this down in a while. I feel like everything is collapsing, and my usual techniques are not up to par.

I am working on it.

Part of me wants to burn it all down and start over (a-fucking-gain), but I’ve come too far and have too little time left to begin again.

At this point, it’s finish the chore of living or give the whole thing up.

I’m not sure what’s worse – trying constantly to make it and failing, or not bothering with it at all.

At least I’d have more free time if I gave up, more time for my family.

But this is the driver; I feel like walking death when I don’t let it out.

Let it fucking out, or let them fucking in. I don’t know which one is worse.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1084 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Thieves' World, Assorted Authors
Comics: Fathom: Kiani 4, Fathom v3 0-1, Aspen Showcase: Aspen Matthews 1
Music: Emigre, Anti-Flag

jack and shit

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That’s what I got today. Crippling stomach cramps too.

And Jack left town.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1066 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Thieves' World, Assorted Authors
Comics: Fathom: Kiani 1-3, Fathom: Killian's Vessel 1
Music: Elvis Presley Essentials, Elvis Presley (can't go wrong with the king)

tenors

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It’s hard to write from viewpoints you don’t understand. Like, I’ve referenced the Three Tenors a couple of times in Bad Neighbours, as a symbol of higher art, but it’s something I’d never listen to. I’m sure it’s whatever, but I’m way more into people being genuine in their art; singing opera never felt truly genuine to me. It’s more about technique than emotion, more about the mastery of a skill than the genuine connection to the source material.

You can cover a song and imbue it with real meaning, but it’s when you use the song as a way to show off your skills that you lose me. It’s why I never gave a shit about Eddie Van Halen. Yeah, he was technically gifted, but there was as much genuine humanity and emotion in his work as Milli Vanilli. It’s also why I think AC/DC is brilliant. No, there’s no depth of lyrics there, and yes, Angus is as gifted as Eddie Van Halen, but you can tell when you listen to their songs, they fucking love what they do. They are themselves, unapologetically, and that, on its own, makes it worthy of a listen.

It’s the difference between a song sung with meaning in a show (see Daisy Jones & The Six) versus a standard musical. The gang covering Ooh La La had meaning to the plot, and added depth to the story. When they hamhand it into something like Riverdale or pretentious garbage like Moulin Rouge, it takes away from the story.

Musicals are bad for the same reason “show, don’t tell” is the rule in good writing. It’s exposition with a backbeat, and that pulls me right out of it. I no longer feel a connection to the characters or the material; you’re just preaching at me, and using a rhythm to do it. 

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1098 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: King Rat, China Mieville (speaking of pretention and music, really, drum & bass as the apotheosis of music, the saviour of all things and the base for communism?  Jesus, why do people like this guy?  Christ, what pretentious twaddle)
Comics: Fathom v2 9-11, Fathom: Kiani 0
Music: Elvis Costello Essential, Elvis Costello (pretention in music day all around, I guess)

ugh

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Did I ever mention how much I hate being in the office, and of course, now, as of June 23rd, we’ll be going back there three days out of every freakin’ week.

This is really going to cut into my free time. The extra time garnered by not having to get ready and commute in the morning, make lunch, etc., etc., totals nearly an hour. I’m able to read more in the office, but that really doesn’t help with my writing.

I already get up at ten to five every day; am I going to need to get up at four?

Fuck my life.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 887 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: King Rat, China Mieville
Comics: Fathom: Cannon Hawke 5, Fathom v2 7-8, Aspen Seasons 3
Music: Elton John Essentials, Elton John

victoria day

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Congratulations, Victoria. You’ve managed to take the day off again this year. I wish I could

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1154 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: King Rat, China Mieville
Comics: Fathom: Cannon Hawke 3-4, Fathom v2 5-6
Music: Elton John, Elton John

shocker

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Exactly what I thought. Build us up, just to let us down.

Also, I hate the scapegoating of Marner. He’s a good player, played hard, and he hardly deserves all the credit for the loss. Nylander won’t back check. Matthews has also been non-existent in this series, worse than Marner. Holmberg has been invisible. Benoit and McCabe made terrible choices the last few games despite looking pretty good earlier in the playoffs.

The coach didn’t adjust well enough (or the player didn’t execute his adjustments). Everyone came out flat.

Why lose our hundred point per season player, one that actually plays defense, for everyone’s faults? That isn’t going to fix shit, and that’s what the team’s management needs to be saying, not just letting it all ride.

That’s why the problem; there’s no fucking accountability.

No team mentality. Everyone or no one. That should be the thought. And if you can’t buy into that, then you’re fucking gone.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1670 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: King Rat, China Mieville
Comics: Fathom: Cannon Hawke - Prelude 1, Fathom: Cannon Hawke 1-2, Aspen Seasons 2
Music: The Else, They Might Be Giants

prince edward county

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What a nice day, hitting Sandbanks Winery, then Gillingham’s Brewery and ironically, running into some nanobrewer who was there to pick up, who then invited us to his garage brewery (literally called Garage Time), and it turned out pretty good.

Plus, our granddaughter’s fourth birthday. Christ, it goes so fast.

So fast.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1283 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Primrose Path, Bram Stoker (what the fuck was this shit?  Maybe the worst book I've ever read.  Man has a beer at a pub and boom, he's beating his wife and hitting her with a hammer, before killing himself?  Maybe the CTE from the attempted manslaughter by his wife's idiot friend was the real reason behind that?)
Comics: Fathom v2 1-4
Music: Elliott Smith, Elliott Smith

here we go again

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I called it. Bounce back game, setting up what should be a spectacular meltdown in game seven.

Fuck.

EVERY. GODDAMN. YEAR.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1122 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Primrose Path, Bram Stoker (ugh, what the fuck is this shit?)
Comics: Fathom v2: Beginnings 1, Aspen Seasons 1, Fathom v2: Prelude 1, Fathom v2 0
Music: Ella Fitzgerald Essentials, Ella Fitzgerald

the less said

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About last night’s game, the better.

Sheesh. Way to no show, pricks.

The Toronto Maple Leafs: failing in every big moment since 1967.

That should be their new slogan.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1363 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
Comics: Fathom: Dawn Of War 1-3, Fathom: Dawn Of War - Cannon Hawke 1
Music: Elephant, The White Stripes

game five

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Let’s. Fucking. Go.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1155 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
Comics: Michael Turner's Aspen 3, Fathom: Cannon Hawke 0, Fathom: Cannon Hawke - Beginnings 1, Fathom: Dawn Of War 0
Music: Electric Version, The New Pornographers