tedium

So, the new training is SO. FUCKING. BORING.

I like to think I’ve lived a life free of trauma, though not drama, though it often feels like a trauma lurking around the corner.

Something repressed, guided my moods and thoughts subconsciously, ready to jump out and smash the dinner spread just as I’m about to eat.

It feels like I’m barely allowed to eat, and alternately, stuffed of the point of nausea and vomiting.

Fucking mental illness… it’s a real son of a bitch, and the sneakiest motherfucker you know.

Target: 400 words
Written: 234 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Welcome To Night Vale, Joseph Fink/Jeffrey Cranor (did I spell that right?)
Comics: Tokyo Ghost 1-4 (FUCK. YES.)
Music: Killer Kills All & KillYrIdols, Sonic Youth

okay, this is boring

And I don’t just mean this blog, but let’s face it, this blog is, in fact, boring.

Listening to me, a know-nothing-nobody opine about shit he really doesn’t understand and whine about everything else… how can that be fulfilling?

How can it be entertaining?

Listen, I know the whole concept of “being a brand” and all that, but I genuinely don’t give a fuck. I am what what I am. My brand is…

Fuck off and leave me alone.

But also be nice to each other.

See?

Branding.

Target: 400 words
Written: 189 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Welcome To Night Vale, the Night Vale guys
Comics: Punk Rock Jesus 3-6
Music: Kill The DJ, Green Day, Closet Monster, Killed The Radio Star

zoned out

I hate days like that; nothing to do, then no time to do the things you want to do when you finally get the free time.

There’s nothing worse than all the time in the world tied to something boring, followed by all your free time chewed up by circumstance.

The frustration is real.

Target: 400 words
Written: 288 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: The Practicing Mind, Thomas Sterner (everything The Power Of Now should have been, without Tolle's excessive ego and messiah complex - simple, humble and practical - I get the same feeling out of this as I do the Tao Te Ching; they now occupy spots next to each other on the shelf)
Comics: The Wake 9-10, Punk Rock Jesus 1-2 (fuck yeah)
Music: Kill Kill Kill, Anti-Flag

full moon?

The day was perfectly fine until I left the grocery store. First, my batteries fell out of the cart, and the box broke open, sending batteries sprawling across the sidewalk into the torrential rain.

Then, as I went to take my very full cart down the ramp and across the parking lot, a black Charger pulls up and blocks the ramp. And stays there. I had to knock on the idiot’s window to get him to pay attention to the guy standing in the middle of a thunderstorm will a full cart who probably isn’t going to be able to get it down the curb.

He moved. Grudgingly, from the look of it.

I slog out to my van, load it up, put the cart in the cart return and hustle back to my car, rain streaming off my sodden coat.

I get in, plug in my old school iPod nano and cue up some hard rock. I put it in reverse and…

A tan SUV pulls up behind me and stops.

Okay, whatever. Probably just waiting for someone to back out or something.

Except… no one’s moving. None of the other cars are even running. Plus, there are numerous empty spots because I’m one of the very few dummies to grocery shop during a storm. Like, at least eight different options within fifty feet, including on either side of me.

I look at the woman in the window. She’s screaming. Literally screaming. At me.

I can’t figure out why. I haven’t actually moved yet. Not even an inch. Then, I realize, because she rolls down her window and keeps yelling…

She wants my spot. Apparently, I’m keeping her from getting into that spot.

The spot she’s blocked me into.

Never mind that there are at least four open spots on the other side or that BOTH SPOTS on either side of me are empty. Never mind that I’m not on a bicycle, and there’s zero percent chance than my Grand Caravan is getting around her without an eight hundred point turn.

She doesn’t like my suggestion that if she wants my spot, she has to let me out first. I thought it was reasonable, but apparently, it demanded a response of slamming it into drive and tearing off into the parking lot. I think if it wasn’t raining, her tires would have squealed.

I don’t know who shat in her Corn Flakes, but I hope there’s some reason for what was clearly some kind of mental breakdown – both from a logic and an emotional standpoint.

Lady, wherever you are… smoke some weed or have a White Russian or something. Get laid. See a therapist.

Because that spot… it ain’t worth the aneurysm.

Target: 400 words
Written: 876 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: The Practicing Mind, Thomas Sterner
Comics: The Wake 5-8
Music: Kill 'Em All, Metallica (I swear, not planned)

the squirts

Does anyone else feel like we’re close enough to talk about bowel movements yet?

Is anyone reading this?

If I write about the green apple splatters in the woods, would anyone hear?

I don’t do the sound of one hand clapping; I long ago learned the trick from Balki Bartokomous.

Instead, it’s farts in an empty house.

Although these days, with Alexa, Siri and Google Home, the answer is always yes.

Your X-Box is listening to you pee. I don’t mean that as a joke; they really are.

Target: 400 words
Written: 279 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: If Chins Could Kill: Confessions Of A B Movie Actor, Bruce Campbell (I mean, who doesn't love this guy?)
Comics: The Wake 1-4
Music: The Kids Are Alright, The Who

sunday relax

Yesterday was a dream; today is relaxing, with not much on tap, but I feel already like I’m falling behind.

And why?

Most of my work is done.

The writing task I set for myself is complete. I’ve read a little. Listened to a little muzak.

I even prepped for dinner and took care of the dogs (not the walk part yet, but soon).

So, why do I feel so far behind?

Target: 400 words
Written: 241 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: If Chins Could Kill: Confessions Of A B Movie Actor, Bruce Campbell
Comics: Joe The Barbarian 5-8
Music: Kids Soundtrack, Folk Implosion

relaxing day

Somehow, today, everything just kind of came together. A little relax time, some chores, a nice dinner, a good walk with the dogs…

I’m not sure what happened, but today came together like a fine wine. Patient, relaxed, containing a satisfying flavour that flows across the tongue and balances delicately on the lips…

It’s put me into a reflective mood, and I love it.

For once, things don’t seem quite so bleak.

That might be the wine talking, though.

Target: 400 words
Written: 417 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: If Chins Could Kill: Confessions Of A B Movie Actor, Bruce Campbell
Comics: Joe The Barbarian 1-4
Music: Kid A, Radiohead

back to training

I guess I’m doing something right, because I’m being trained on special tasks yet again.

It’s funny, when I was younger and more oblivious, I knew I was a hard worker and a smart guy, but I didn’t believe in my own fallibility; it was a problem.

When you won’t accept that you’re a fuck-up who can be lazy at times, no amount of nose-to-the-grindstone and feeling responsible for everything around you will help.

Now that I am older and officially know that I am imperfect and know very little about pretty much everything, I feel like I’m not being responsible enough.

And now I feel like it’s okay not to be responsible for everything.

Is wisdom actually saying fuck it? Let’s do what we want and let it ride?

Is true wisdom giving up control and accepting the peace of kicking back with a whiskey sour?

As the song says, “All I know is that I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t know nothing.”

Target: 400 words
Written: 2296 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: If Chins Could Kill: Confessions Of A B Movie Actor, Bruce Campbell
Comics: Chrononauts: Futureshock 1-4
Music: Kick Out The James, MC5

paths of glory

I’ve taken to watching old movies (Stanley Kubrick’s early work) and (an) old TV show (The Adventures Of Superman) and I’ve stumbled upon Paths Of Glory.

I think we’re all more familiar with Kubrick’s bigger works, but Paths Of Glory is, I think, where we first saw how brilliant he could be. I mean, Fear And Desire had hints, but it was amateurish, early stuff, done on the cheap. The Killing and Killer’s Kiss were… okay. Kind of generic noir, to be honest, other than maybe the fight in the mannequins. Heist movie was not his forte; there wasn’t enough philosophy behind it. He disavowed Fear And Desire, but it was my favourite of the pre-Paths Of Glory films.

An exploration of human psychology, even done with clumsy hands, is always interesting. Some of the best movies come from B movies; for sheer entertainment or from sheer gall; the audacity of a movie about aliens or swamp creatures or men with brains on the outside of their heads to really take a swipe at the human condition.

But Paths Of Glory might be one of the best commentaries on war ever depicted in a movie; revolutionary for its time. It’s nothing short of brilliant, and not just because they’ve managed to capture the fact that Kirk and Michael Douglas are the same person.

If you get a chance, watch it; for its time, the scene where they try to take the ant hill is an pulse-pounding depiction of the futility of trench warfare; the disjointed juxtaposition of these trenchmen versus their generals, sipping cognac and throwing parties, is tremendous.

It reminds me of what I always think whenever countries want to go to war and what I would say to any leader who asked.

You first.

Target: 400 words
Written: 277 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: If Chins Could Kill, Confessions Of A B Movie Actor, Bruce Campbell (funny thing, synchronicity, and the overlap of Kubrick and the Evil Dead)
Comics: Chrononauts 1-4
Music: Kick, INXS (one of my all time favourites)

the new dog and thunderstorms

They warned us she didn’t like storms, but the warning was largely that she’d hide under the covers.

Except… she’s under the covers most nights.

During a thunderstorm, she hyper-ventilates and jumps all over us, relentlessly, until we go downstairs.

She was from Texas originally, so my working theory is that she was in a tornado zone, so storms meant basement. The fosters’ bedroom was in the basement, so she just hid under the covers.

But on our second floor… well, that’s just too damn high.

Welcome to two hours of sleep, Empty. Lord knows you didn’t need that.

Target: 400 words
Written: 334 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: The Fire Starter Sessions, Danielle Laporte
Comics: Nailbiter Returns 10 (where's my Son of Nailbiter, damn it?)
Music: Kerplunk! Green Day