kindness in the face of insanity

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I’ll admit, this is the part of kindness where I struggle. I know, in Buddhist thought, Taoist thought, compassion is for everyone, no matter who they are or what they represent.

And I understand that. But I see kindness as having little effect on the authoritarians of the world, or on those who absolutely refuse to help themselves. In many cases, kindness is an enabling factor, not a mitigating one.

Kindness needs to be tempered with a resolve that doesn’t allow for bad behaviour to continue. Tough love, I believe it’s called, but I hate the concept itself – it’s so ripe for exploitation and coercion. Like so many great concepts “in theory”, there are always those who would twist the sentiment to their own end.

Tough love as the excuse for an abusive parent. Kindness as a shield for an exploitive guru. Compassion as way to enable another’s bad behaviour and thereby, avoid conflict.

It is not kindness to let people continue to behave poorly in their lives. Sometimes, the greatest kindness is letting go of that person, or devising a means by which their harm can be minimized (or eliminated altogether – and since I preach non-violence as much as possible, I prefer minimization – not ignorance, awareness without engagement).

Sometimes, the most kind thing is to recognize that the person you need to be kind to is yourself, and that the person who you believed deserved your kindness is not of more consequence than that. If compassion for another is killing you, it flies in the face of compassion. Compassion does not equal martyr.

Then again, maybe I just don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. Perhaps I’m only saying this because I feel on the verge of breaking, and am putting up walls to allow myself time to rebuild, refocus and rest.

Thus, it’s back to the Buddhist texts and a continued re-reading of Tao Te Ching. Kindness, empathy, compassion – the structure is in there somewhere.

And I’ll get it eventually.

I hope.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1369 words, novel: Father Lightning (and the tradition of missing my updated target on the first day continues)

Read: Still Just A Geek, Wil Wheaton (wait, is this a rewrite?  Ugh.)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 37-38, Grifter 9-10
Music: Fashion Nugget, Cake (wickedly underrated band)

the world must be terrifying

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I mean, it is, but if you went by all these 911/CSI/NCIS shows (the U.S. Navy must have the highest peacetime mortality rate of any branch of service in the world), or by the local news, you’d swear you were about to get ganked around every corner.

I think there’s a lot more kindness happening than that.

Although… why is this newslady smiling about the murder/suicide that resulted in an apartment building half-burning down?

This is a twisted planet.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1400 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: On Cats, Charles Bukowski (I'll admit, I teared up at the Manx)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 34-35, WildC.A.T.S./X-Men 1, Grifter v2 8
Music: Far Side Of The World, Jimmy Buffett (and now you know why I'm chill today)

scream therapy

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Is this still a thing? I feel like maybe I could get more into kindness if I could just scream it out first.

Or a rage room, but that seems like it’s: a) creepy and b) likely to cause me injury.

After all, I can dislocate a toe by pivoting on one foot, or throw my back out tying shoelaces.

Smashing shit with a sledgehammer seems maybe a bit fraught.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 897 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice (fucking brilliant)
Comics: Grifter 6-7, WildC.A.T.S. 32-33
Music: Famous Monsters, The Misfits

superpower

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I don’t necessarily agree with some of the stuff he’s doing (too corporate-leaning for me), but his ability to make deals and get us away from our dependence on the States (which is something I’ve advocated since Bush Jr.), it’s impressive.

Dude’s a force of nature, very quietly and clearly cutting the United States out of the equation, insulating us against their insanity.

So, credit where credit’s due. On that front, he’s fucking brilliant.

And Pierre Poilievre can shut the fuck up until he has an actual idea to make Canadian lives better, instead of trying to create controversy by bitching about everything and slagging Canada as horrible.

You want to represent a country? Maybe don’t constantly complain about it, Pierre.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2084 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice
Comics: Grifter & The Mask 1-2, Grifter 4-5
Music: Family Tree - CDs 1-6, Bjork

retro gaming

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I’m not a crazy retro gamer like some people, but I enjoy revisiting classics – things I played like Final Fantasy or Metal Gear, and things I missed the first time around, like the early Elder Scroll games.

Unfortunately, my lack of free time makes grinding in RPGs a long haul, a total slog I can’t get into for five minutes here or there.

On the plus side, I managed to finish Final Fantasy III (actual 3, not the American 3) and man, what a long time coming. It’s taken me over 2 years to get through the first three, plus Metal Gear (which went pretty quickly).

Hopefully, the next ones, I can find some more time for it.

Or give up and dedicate myself wholeheartedly to life, but what fun is there in that?

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1764 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice (modern classic, up there with all the other modern classics)
Comics: Grifter v2 1-3, WildC.A.T.S. 31
Music: The Family Tree, The Ramones

9-1-1

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I’ve no desire to watch any of those types of show, but I think I would if they were based on the ones that were considered the “worst” 9-1-1 calls.

Like the one complaining that their neighbour is wearing too much cologne.

Or there’s a domesticated-looking bunny in the park.

That motherfucker. How dare he?

Target: 1500 words
Written: 720 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice (I'm so into this; I forgot how fucking good it was)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 29-30, Spawn/WildC.A.T.S. 4, Grifter/Shi 2
Music: Family Man, Black Flag

one off notes

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Sometimes, I look back on my notes and can’t help but either shake my head or laugh.

Occasionally, in the middle of snippets about sentence structure or opining over character motivation, there will be an unexpected political rant or description of a whole other scenario for a character that would never fit into the book.

Entire lives and tragedies will have been lived out within the random scraps of my writings, entire storylines, whole new books carried out over a half a page. Tortures, ecstasies, vindications, justifications, explanation, exhortations and belittling of the idiot writing it all down.

It’s actually pretty common for me to make a note of how much I suck in the middle of editing notes.

For the record, I’m probably not as bad as all that, but since nothing’s really been published yet, I might be.

Of course, I’m living for the kindness now, and that does reflect on the self.

Be nicer to yourself, Empty. There’s no getting away from you, after all.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2050 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice
Comics: Grifter 10, Grifter/Shi 1, Spawn/WildC.A.T.S. 3, WildC.A.T.S. 28
Music: Family, Cat Stevens

tax day

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I’ve never had to pay, but there’s always a first.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1462 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Interview With The Vampire, Anne Rice
Comics: Spawn/WildC.A.T.S. 1-2, Grifter 9, WildC.A.T.S. 27
Music: The Fallout, Default

motherfu—

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So, listen. I’m not generally a conspiracy theorist. I know everybody immediately assumed the White House Correspondent’s Dinner attempt was fake, and then immediately, in the interest of both sides-ing it or covering their ass from a litigious president, decided to pretend maybe it wasn’t.

I personally think we are right to be suspicious. Certainly, there’s arguments both ways. On one hand, President Rotting Orange has given the world more than enough reasons to hate him. Fuck all that shit about Democratic rhetoric turning the heat up – those folks are mostly cowardly, hedging their bets every chance they get. Donald, on the other hand, ratchets up to a hundred pounds of hateful rhetoric and bullshit every time he opens his mouth.

That said, maybe the hateful rhetoric spewing from his piehole (and his minions’ pieholes) is enough to spur someone to violence, in anger, in retribution, in a misguided attempt at justice (and justice does need to come, though preferably, not with bloodshed).

On the other hand, this administration and its orange cult leader have flooded the world with so many lies, so much bullshit, so much flagrant dishonesty, that you could hardly blame anyone for taking anything they say with a healthy dose of skepticism. We all immediately start asking, what are they really after? What are they really trying to do?

And that’s a hundred percent valid. You don’t fight fascism by letting it lie without examination.

Add to all this the fact that they are literally running the fascist playbook, as example after example after example of past authoritarian leaders will show you, and it’s pretty clear they’re looking for their Reichstag moment.

A moment, you’ll recall, was fake.

Butler was bullshit – a hundred percent staged no matter how you slice it. The coordination of MAGA influencer accounts and MAGA politicians who with fast came out with the same coordinated message of “build the ballroom!” within what? A hour, hour and a half of the assassination attempt?

Yeah, my credulity is strained, and it was essentially nonexistent before, again, because of the firehose of deceit that gushes out of every Republican and MAGA influencer’s mouth.

You are the boy who cried wolf, and despite the fact that no one believed you, you kept crying wolf over and over again. And unlike in the story, where eventually there was a wolf and no one believed him…

There’s still not a fucking wolf.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 987 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Against The Fall Of Night, Arthur C. Clarke (shades of 2001, this, before 2001 came to be)
Comics: Spartan: Warrior Spirit 4, Grifter 6, Zealot 3, Grifter/Badrock 2
Music: Faithless, Back To Mine