I’ll admit, this is the part of kindness where I struggle. I know, in Buddhist though, Taoist thought, compassion is for everyone, no matter who they are or what they represent.

And I understand that. But I see kindness as having little effect on the authoritarians of the world, or on those who absolutely refuse to help themselves. In many cases, kindness is an enabling factor, not a mitigating one.

Kindness needs to be tempered with a resolve that doesn’t allow for bad behaviour to continue. Tough love, I believe it’s called, but I hate the concept itself – it’s so ripe for exploitation and coercion. Like so many great concepts “in theory”, there are always those who would twist the sentiment to their own end.

Tough love as the excuse for an abusive parent. Kindness as a shield for an exploitive guru. Compassion as way to enable another’s bad behaviour and thereby, avoid conflict.

It is not kindness to let people continue to behave poorly in their lives. Sometimes, the greatest kindness is letting go of that person, or devising a means by which their harm can be minimized (or eliminated altogether – and since I preach non-violence as much as possible, I prefer minimization – not ignorance, awareness without engagement).

Sometimes, the most kind thing is to recognize that the person you need to be kind to is yourself, and that the person who you believed deserved your kindness is not of more consequence than that. If compassion for another is killing you, it flies in the face of compassion. Compassion does not equal martyr.

Then again, maybe I just don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. Perhaps I’m only saying this because I feel on the verge of breaking, and am putting up walls to allow myself time to rebuild, refocus and rest.

Thus, it’s back to the Buddhist texts and a continued re-reading of Tao Te Ching. Kindness, empathy, compassion – the structure is in there somewhere.

And I’ll get it eventually.

I hope.

Target: 1600 words
Written: 1369 words, novel: Father Lightning (and the tradition of missing my updated target on the first day continues)

Read: Still Just A Geek, Wil Wheaton (wait, is this a rewrite?  Ugh.)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 37-38, Grifter 9-10
Music: Flowers, The Rolling Stones