Author: admin

falling asleep

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Falling into skyrocketing blood pressure.

It’s like being so drunk you lose all balance and suddenly, tip sideways into the snow, but you’re stuck in the moment where balance fails and you’re just about to tip uncontrollably…

Without even the good time first.

Well, technically. I’m sure the abuse I put my body through was a good time at the time. I just don’t remember any of it.

Target: 1000 words
Written: 1549 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: I'll Be Gone In The Dark, Michelle McNamara
Comics: The Boys 57-59, The Boys: Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker 1
Music: Necessary Evil, Deborah Harry

frozen

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Motherfucker, that was cold. Not 2014 Winter Classic in -20 Celsius at the Big House in Ann Arbor for eight hours cold, but still.

Bitter wind.

I still can’t believe those college kids, ripping their shirts off and spinning them, bare-chested, for almost an entire period. Or those girls, in micro-mini skirts and six-inch stilettos, stumbling through crusted snow.

How any of them got through that without hypothermia or the loss of a digit or nipple is beyond me.

Good drugs, I guess.

They may have lost their nipples, but they sure didn’t feel it.

Target: 1000 words
Written: 1813 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: I'll Be Gone In The Dark, Michelle McNamara (which could have been the name of The Mungk as well; I can't believe she stole it)
Comics: The Boys 49-52
Music: Nearly Lost You, Screaming Trees (Mark Lanegan, historically, so underrated)

snow market

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Technically, it’s the Dresden Night Market, but whatever. It snowed all day yesterday and is slated to all day today and tomorrow and the next and the next, etc., etc., etc., until climate change murders us all.

Assuming our new fascist overlords don’t get there first. My hope is that Trump’s ego pisses off the rich and they start using their influence to fuck him over.

But for now, it’s winter markets and praying the world doesn’t collapse before I get a chance to finish all that I desire to do.

It’s just too goddamn bad I decided to leave the starting line after most people have already run the race.

Target: 1000 words
Written: 1559 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: I'll Be Gone In The Dark, Michelle McNamara
Comics: The Boys: Highland Laddie 4-6, The Boys 48
Music: Near Truths And Hotel Rooms, Todd Snider (DB Cooper is stuck in my head; that's where you'll find him)

according to my calculations

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The Mungk should be finished in ten to fourteen days.

Then, onto the scarier phase – trying to fucking sell it.

Writing it is the easy part, compared to all the gladhanding and sending and trying to build audiences and dealing with the constant rejection.

And it’s a lot of rejection.

I think maybe sometimes that the whole universe has looked at me with the most cursory glance and said, nah. Not interested.

Dismissed out of hand by god.

The question is do we disappear, or do we get pissed and say, oh yeah? Look at me now, while smashing everything around them.

How you like me now?

Target: 1000 words
Written: 1173 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: I'll Be Gone In The Dark, Michelle McNamara
Comics: The Boys 47, The Boys: Highland Laddie 1-3
Music: Nazi Punks Fuck Off, Dead Kennedys (because, you know, fuck 'em. Fuck all the Nazis. I'm looking at you, Conservatives and Republicans.)

ultimate draft

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This is it.

The separation of M.T. Williams and his first grand creation (though not his first creation).

We are on the last draft prior to manuscript.

A dozen misfires and then the final blow.

Kind of exciting, if not also terrifying.

Funny how those two always seem to be in cahoots. Everything exciting should scare the shit out of you, right?

Right?

Hello?

Target: 1000 words
Written: 2040 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Good Sex, Jessica Graham (not been helpful for focus, but hell on the libido)
Comics: The Boys 43-46
Music: Navy Blues, Sloan (feelin' Canuck the last couple of days)

kill yr drlings

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And so, the new prologue and epilogue goes.

Fuck ’em.

They’d make a cool short story in an expanded edition later on (as would the history/future of everyone else involved), but fuck it.

It ain’t relevant to the story of a little boy and the monster that loves him.

Well, love is a strong word.

More like takes malicious pleasure in turning him into another wasted shell of a human being, staggering through life like some kind of George Romero creation, pieces falling off, guts long ago fallen out, dead-eyed stare focused on nothing, save mere sustenance.

But that’s a preview, and we only do previews for good boys and girls, and expansion for the truly sexy beasts.

Target: 1000 words
Written: 355 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Good Sex, Jessica Graham
Comics: The Boys 39-42
Music: Naveed, Our Lady Peace

drawing with crayons

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That’s what I feel like. I’m thinking about chapter identifiers, and I thought it would be cool to have a cartoonish (but disturbed/disturbing) little sketch to delineate each chapter/scene.

(I’m working on a vibe; I like the whole thing to be an event/theme.)

Of course, there’s an art to making art that looks like a child did it (but somehow still cool – sorry kids, you’re not hanging in the Guggenheim anytime soon).

And I feel like I’m drawing with crayons.

Which is sort of the point.

We all start with colours all outside the lines, and somehow, they teach us to stay carefully between them.

Of course, the best of us figure how to say fuck lines altogether. I draw my own lines.

The question to consider is: am I one of those, or just another hack?

Target: 1000 words
Written: 316 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Good Sex, Jessica Graham
Comics: The Boys 35-38
Music: Natural History: The Very Best Of Talk Talk, Talk Talk (talktalktalktalktlkatlkatalktaltkaltkallfuck)

a slim chance of hope

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Every day, I tell myself the same thing:

This, too, is the way. This, too, shall pass.

It’s a mantra that keeps me from screaming, or worse.

It’s ringing a little hollow these days. Perhaps it’s just another way to avoid taking action on the things that haunt me.

Perhaps.

Target: 1000 words
Written: 2287 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Uncertainty: Turning Fear And Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance, Jonathan Fields
Comics: The Boys 31-34
Music: Natural Born Killers, Nine Inch Nails

getting there

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I think The Mungk might actually be done soon. By my estimate, mid-December at the latest. And then it’ll be on to the next thing, the next year’s projects. More and more, all the time.

I do not make things easy on myself, even if I never follow through with selling them (notwithstanding the fact that three of the four pieces I wrote this year before The Mungk have been published, in a non-paying manner).

The comic is the only one that hasn’t, and it was originally an idea for a friend, who is a very good artist, but spends too much time online and is kind of a right wing nut now, which is disappointing. I wrote it exactly for his style; a calling card for both of us that will likely never happen. Maybe Jerry Gaylord or Jonboy Meyers would like to do it as a favour.

Yeah, right.

Anyway, exciting times.

I might have to draw, ink, letter and publish the damn thing myself.

Target: 1000 words
Written: 2255 words, novella: The Mungk

Read: Uncertainty: Turning Fear And Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance, Jonathan Fields
Comics: The Boys: Herogasm 3-6
Music: The Natch'l Blues, Taj Mahal