in the dumdums

Well, the doldrums, but I feel stupid, so doldrums it is.

My hockey guy didn’t make the NHL (on the fucking Coyotes even, stupid NHL games), and so here I am. Wondering why the fuck I’m an enforcer on the Tucson Roadrunners.

Life’s fucked.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1447 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Deadly Streets, Harlan Ellison (man, talk about a vibe)
Comics: Tomb Raider 8-9, 0.5, Dark Crossings 2
Music: Everywhere And His Nasty Parlour Tricks, Modest Mouse

funny or sad

I don’t know what I am anymore. I get angrier the more I work on Bad Neighbours, but ultimately, it’s a satire. A comedy.

It’s meant to be funny.

I’m worried it’s coming across hostile.

Or too skewed toward being hard on liberalism, even though that’s kind of the point of the satire, how ridiculous it is to be so hard on the sanctimonious that mean well, versus the actual assholes who mean evil.

Shelley is almost benign; Walter comes across as a monster at times.

It’s a reflection of the times, but I worry it will be misinterpreted as actually being the way it is.

Certainly, MAGAts don’t know the difference. Their inability to understand Gavin Newsom’s Twitter (yeah, fuck you, Elon, it’s Twitter) parody is pretty clear.

I don’t want this son of a bitch to become an icon, misinterpreted the way my bad guy was in Get Back Again, from several of the places I’d submitted or published it. Wattpad outright banned it, saying it promoted hate, which is really only evidence that they either didn’t read it, or have read too many bad boy romance stories, and thus, have lost their ability to understand metaphor and context.

So, stating this, for the record, before it ever sees the light of day.

Walter Lemon has his problems; he can be problematic at times, but he is ultimately, a good person who wants justice and fairness.

Dennis Shelley (and those who enable/use him) is a fucking monster. HE IS NOT THE GOOD GUY.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1507 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Deadly Streets, Harlan Ellison
Comics: Tomb Raider: Origins 1, Tomb Raider 6-7, Witchblade/Tomb Raider 0.5
Music: Everything Will Be Alright In The End, Weezer (I sure hope so)

whirlwind trip

Off to Trenton. Off to grandbaby.

She’s about to go into JK. Jesus Christ.

Life is draining away at an exponential rate, isn’t it?

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1339 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: East Wind: West Wind, Pearl Buck (not my usual fare, but I really liked this - bring me into your world, doesn't matter what genre or style, and this did that)
Comics: Tomb Raider & Witchblade 1, Witchblade & Tomb Raider 1, Tomb Raider 1-2
Music: Everything Under The Sun, Sublime

twenty-twenty-five on speed

Is it just me, or is this year moving like a freight train whose throttle is wide open and stuck down?

Barreling toward an inevitable conclusion that can only be catastrophe?

I’ll admit, Bad Neighbours, being largely about conflict and unreality, about dichotomy and the endless fight of us versus them, it’s done a number on me.

I know, as a writer, you have to live in the space about which you’re writing. When I did Romance #1, it was fun and goofy, ironic and sardonic. Western Cradle was about trying to make shit out of suffering. The Mungk was months of exploration into trauma and hopelessness.

The fatalism nearly got me.

But I’m largely conflict-averse in my life, so this obsessing over the fight, over being at war, over being at odds with each other, especially in light of the world’s political situation, it’s anathema. And it’s bleeding into the rest of my life.

I’ll be glad when this is done, for more reasons than just completion and the pride of having finished it.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1794 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: East Wind: West Wind, Pearl Buck
Comics: The Seasons 6-7, Escape 1
Music: Everything To Everyone, Barenaked Ladies (this IS Canada, after all)

peed myself today

Yep. Someone wedged something under the toilet seat at work, and while I thought it felt a little weird, I didn’t think much of it, until I realized it had changed the angle of my pee, allowing it to shoot out over the top of the bowl and straight onto the back of my shorts.

If I ever become a big name that people look up to, or my ego starts to get too big, I’m going to specifically reference this point in my life as a reminder of humility.

Or mortification and failures in spectacularly humiliating fashion.

Either way, if that doesn’t take you down a peg, I don’t know what will.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 255 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Magician: Apprentice, Raymond Feist
Comics: The Seasons 2-3, Napalm Lullaby 9, The Sacrificers 15
Music: Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge, Mudhoney

hipfest

I mean, I had fun, but I wanted it to be so much better. The others were going on about how great the guy was, but I found the band super loose, and the singer was mucking up lyrics (and moving around entire verses) wholesale.

I’m not sure the hangover is worth that.

Sorry, dude, Gord Downie, you ain’t.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1127 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Magician: Apprentice, Raymond Feist
Comics: Napalm Lullaby 5-6, The Sacrificers 10, Grommets 3
Music: Everlong, Foo Fights (like, three separate singles - I'm mildly obsessed)

falling over

I feel like I’m about to collapse.

It’s been thing after thing after thing, and trying to find time to write anything has been next to impossible. I’m stealing sleep to do it.

Fuckin’ hell, I don’t know why all of a sudden, everything, for months, is so fucking busy.

I hate it.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1496 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Magician: Apprentice, Raymond Feist
Comics: The Sacrificers 8, Napalm Lullaby 3, The Holy Roller 6, Grommets 1
Music: Even Flow, Pearl Jam (ahh... palate cleanser - Dirty Frank)