Category: personal

funny how that works

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You wake up, things seem like they’re going tickety-boo, and then all of a sudden, it’s three o’clock and you’ve only done distracted things and shit for other people.

And yet it seemed like you had so much time.

If that ain’t a metaphor for a wasted life, I don’t know what is.

This workin’s for the birds.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2028 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Time For A Tiger, Anthony Burgess
Comics: Wildstorm Rising 2, Grifter 2, WildCats Adventures 10, WildC.A.T.S. 21
Music: Fables Of The Reconstruction, R.E.M.

unnatural exhaustion

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I’ll be honest.

I’m starting to worry.

Am I dying?

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1183 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Time For A Tiger, Anthony Burgess
Comics: WildCats Adventures 8-9, Wildstorm Rising 1, Grifter 1
Music: February 26, 1994, Milan, Nirvana (the last of the bootlegs, I swear. I think. For now, anyway.)

kindness starts at home?

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I mean, is it possible that the first step in kindness is not just being nice to the people who are close to you, but maybe, showing yourself the kind of kindness you’d like to impart onto others?

Forgiveness for past transgressions. Forgiveness for failures, for inaction, for embarrassing blunders.

Forgiveness for little things.

Big things.

Bad behaviour.

Forgiveness for being a dumbass.

Because there’s always that. In the grand scheme of things, we are all morons.

So, forgive yourself for that. We’re all the same in that regard.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 800 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Pebble In The Sky, Isaac Asimov
Comics: WildCats Adventures 7, WildC.A.T.S. Special 1, Warblade: Endangered Species 4, WildC.A.T.S. 20
Music: October 30, 1992, Buenos Aires, Nirvana

that was kind of rude

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Like, the whole thing about Father Lightning is me exploring the nature of kindness, in the same manner I explored the concept of dualism in The Conflagration Of Boor And Aghast and trauma in The Mungk.

I don’t think I’m doing so well. The point of kindness is not that you’re a doormat; it’s also not to only be kind to those to whom it’s easy to be kind.

True kindness understands that sometimes the kindest thing is a direct truth; true kindness understands that sometimes, even those that would seem to deserve it the least are the ones that may need it the most.

It sets boundaries by shedding light on the reality of a situation; it understands that sometimes, in that enlightening, we may need to cast aside judgment.

I’m not sure I’m doing a very good job of that.

In this, I must be better.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2337 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Pebble In The Sky, Isaac Asimov
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 18-19, WildCats Adventures 6, Warblade: Endangered Species 3
Music: February 19, 1992, Tokyo, Nirvana

tight schedule

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Weird, because I planned the day on making chili early, so I’d have more free time in the evening.

Unfortunately, I forgot we have my father-in-law for a standing dinner on Sundays, and while we appreciate having him, I’m not sure how much he appreciates it anymore.

Certainly the manner in which he somehow manages to spray everything except the toilet would suggest that maybe he’s taking things a little bit for granted.

He’s not a bad guy, just no social awareness. No concept of etiquette.

Ironic, from a young punk, who glorified the flouting of convention.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2021 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Pebble In The Sky, Isaac Asimov
Comics: WildCats Adventures Sourcebook 1, Warblade: Endangered Species 1-2, WildCats Adventures 5
Music: February 1, 1992, Melbourne, Nirvana

storm shakin’

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I make notes on second draft while a rat terrier shakes uncontrollably in my lap, and the sky rumbles above.

I don’t know what traumatized her so, but man, poor girl.

We love you, Sofi. Sorry about the weather.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1349 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Pebble In The Sky, Isaac Asimov
Comics: WildCats Adventures 3-4, WildC.A.T.S. 17, Grifter: One Shot 1
Music: October 31, 1991, Seattle, Nirvana (one of the best bootlegs I own)

shrinkin’

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I wish it were possible, but I don’t feel like I could ever open up to a therapist.

I like the show though.

Harrison Ford is one of my spirit animals (we share a birthday… Patrick Stewart as well, which is equally cool).

(Also Julius Caesar and Cheech, so you know, pretty good crew.)

Target: 1500 words
Written: 1421 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Call For The Dead, John Le Carre
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 7-10
Music: November 15, 2006, The 9:30 Club, State Radio

horoscope

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My horoscope told me I might have difficulty with a woman in my life today.

Apparently, that was a typo.

I think they might have meant all the women in my life.

Jesus, what a day.

Target: 1500 words
Written: 711 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Liza Of Lambeth, W. Somerset Maugham (well, that got way better toward the end, but I'm still confused, if he punches her in the gut before they did it the first time, why was she in love with him?)
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 5-6, WildC.A.T.S. Sourcebook 2, WildC.A.T.S. Trilogy 3
Music: November 23, 2007, The 9:30 Club, Washington, DC, They Might Be Giants

relaxed achievement?

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It’s weird what a massive burden having a clear to do list on a regular basis can do for one.

Portugal (and subsequent crushing depression) really put me far back; being able to do some of the things I’ve pushed off from day to day feels really good. Like more relaxed.

Getting ahead.

Progressing.

Progress, not product, am I right? (First draft done.)

Target: 1500 words
Written: 2674 words, novel: Father Lightning

Read: Liza Of Lambeth, W. Somerset Maugham
Comics: WildC.A.T.S. 0, WildC.A.T.S. Trilogy 1-2, WildC.A.T.S. Sourcebook 1
Music: November 22, 1989, Vienna, Nirvana