woo, doggie

I’m playing in the land of metaphor this morning, detailing exactly where the left coincides with the right and the metaphors that bind them, in the context of Bad Neighbours.

Ironically, it ended being filtered through the judge’s verdict on the Hockey Canada sexual assault case acquittal, in which she posited that while we are all on the train of believing victims, doing so without examination essentially means applying the doctrine of guilty until proven innocent, when our system runs on innocent until proven guilty. There was enough conflicts, contradictions and assertions that didn’t agree with established facts in the case for the judge to reasonably decide that she could not say there was a crime committed, beyond doubt.

Reading the specifics of her verdict, I would probably make the same choice.

And it’s important, the distinction of innocent until proven guilty versus guilty until proven innocent. How many of us had listened to someone make assertions about the behaviour of their ex, or a coworker, or a friend or enemy that had no actual bearing in reality, even if we didn’t know it at the time? How many of us have had someone assert that their significant other was mistreating them, or playing the role of victim, or rationalizing away bad or regrettable behaviour on their part, because they didn’t actually want to take responsibility for what happened?

Most people don’t want to be responsible for their own actions. They live in denial. They falsely equivocate, they exaggerate, they outright lie, often to the point of deluding themselves as to what’s actually real, in order to avoid accountability for what’s ultimately on them.

You say you want freedom? You want truth?

You have to accept two things then: understand that total freedom comes with total responsibility – these are inseparable – and secondly, that reality is not what you want it to be, it’s what is, and if you want truth, you have to be willing to suspend your beliefs and the little fictions you tell yourself about yourself, or about the way things “should” be, and surrender your open, empty mind to what is, no matter the consequences.

Freedom is responsibility. Freedom is accepting consequence. Truth is what is, it’s not what you’d like to to be, or how you want to frame it. It’s what is.

So, innocent until proven guilty is the better way to go, because believing the accuser means automatically accepting their version of the truth, which we all know can be a highly creative, even self-deluding fiction at times. It can also be true, but that’s what the process is meant to find out (and admittedly, that depends on the competence and relative framework of the process, whether truly fair, fact-finding mission or kangaroo court). But guilty until proven innocent It’s not about what is; it’s about what’s asserted; it’s hypothesis without testing. You claim donkeys can fly, you have to prove that they can. The people you’re telling they can don’t.

That’s the way it works.

And that’s infinitely better than someone shouting, “Donkeys can fly!” and then having everyone that heard them run around scrambling to build wings for mules to make it true.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 2749 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Odds On, Michael Lange (John Crichton)
Comics: Low 22, Black Science 40-41, Deadly Class 39
Music: War On Errorism, NOFX (legit one of the best punk albums ever written)

martyrs and charlatans

I once saw a chart that showed someone who worked super hard but made no connections versus someone who didn’t work, but made nothing but connections, and basically, it stuck them in two categories.

All work and no connection creates self-imposed martyrdom, while all connection and no work creates charlatans. Bullshitters versus drudge horses, with those that can find the balance (working hard and creating worthwhile things versus connecting with fans, with industry leaders and insiders, in a genuine, non-bullshit manner) as the true exceptions, the step above the rest. A martyr can find its work recognized and suddenly reach popularity, only to flame out over time (but still leaving behind good work).

A charlatan can become popular for nothing, and lose everything and be leave nothing behind.

I’m a martyr right now, that’s for sure.

May I never be a charlatan.

May I someday find the balance.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1114 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Odds On, John Lange (Michael Crichton)
Comics: Deadly Class 37-38, Black Science 39, Low 21
Music: War, U2

street names and the modern dichotomy

I had originally named the street my bad neighbours lived on Sigmund Avenue, but now, given the material, I rather think I’d like to find a name that is more fitting of the analogy of dichotomy I’ve made with this book.

With that in mind, I’m trying to track down the father of modern political dichotomy, the man most responsible for creating the left-right “split” that we’ve got going. I’m not talking about someone who exploits it, like Trump or Reagan or Bush (Junior or Senior).

I want the philosopher. The modern political thinker.

I’d considered Descartes, but the hunt continues.

Who started all this shit? Jesus?

Who was originator of us versus them as viable political theory? It has always been such; someone must have codified as proper, and watched as all these murderous assholes latched on to it. Who created authoritarianism, in its current sense?

Who is the son of bitch that said there’s only two sides to every issue, and third party be damned!

Which founding father is responsible for this shit?

Should that be a theme, a running theme? Things named after founding fathers who turned out to be assholes?

Who thought putting guns in the Constitution was a good idea?

I bet they’re one and the same.

Our way or no way. Us or them. Till death do us part.

Target: 1300 words
Written: 1413 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Grass Is Singing, Doris Lessing
Comics: Seven To Eternity 6-7, Black Science 30, Deadly Class 29
Music: Extras: A Collection Of Rarities, The Jam

happy birthday, sis

Sly Stone dies and my sister lives another year. Good for her.

Not that she shouldn’t live another year. Like all the people I love, I hope she lives until I die, at least. After that, well, I hope for her sake she lives a long time, but hell, I’ll be dead. What would it matter to me?

Then again, there’s always reincarnation. Maybe I’ll come back as a vibrator.

Assuming I’m bought by a Hollywood starlet, that’d be cool, I guess.

Or a carrier of the Republican virus, in that it only targets individuals who voted Republican, and rewires their brains to be permanently set on Mr. Rogers.

Now, wouldn’t that be a nice cleanse?

Sometimes, I think the stars aligned and decided: there is something truly, profoundly wrong with this guy.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1715 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
Comics: Fathom v6 1-4
Music: Equal Strain On All Parts, Jimmy Buffett (fuck you, it's better than you think)

sly stone’s dead

I’m not really sure what that means other than a continued reaffirmation of the cycle of life and death, or the misconception that I had that he was already dead.

Not that I’m the biggest fan of the Family Stone, but there was some good stuff.

Death in obscurity; life in obscurity.

Death in Cheers; everyone knows your name; in life, as well.

Which end of the scale? Do we all forget Angela Cartwright and her sister? Do you know her sister’s name?

Who ran IBM in the Seventies? Who stood in front of the tanks?

Whatever happened to P.J. Soles?

There’s a strong chance I’m losing it; obscurity within the family unit has me lost.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1510 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Blackbirds, Chuck Wendig
Comics: Aspen Universe: Revelations 2-5
Music: Eponymous, R.E.M.

every day something new

That used to be my motto for writing, or learning, exposure to different things, methods of storytelling, experiences, etc., but sometimes, it’s nice to fall into an old comfort.

Especially now, when you’re convinced you have bowel cancer or an impending appendix explosion, and the idiot doctor that just provided you with substandard care blew it off as gas.

Old comfort. New discomfort.

Familiar discomfort.

Crippling depression.

What’s old is new again. What’s new is ultimately old.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1248 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Pawn's Dream, Eric Nylund
Comics: Fathom v4 2-4, Fathom: Blue Descent 4
Music: Empty Glass, Pete Townshend

emergency room?

Yeah, right. I’ve been having pretty severe cramps every morning (and every once in a while we’re walking the dogs) for a couple of weeks now, so I figured it was time to see a doctor.

This “doctor”, who seemed far more interested in chatting up nurses than helping, does the laziest ultrasound ever, not even actually going over the sections that hurt the most, and then says, it’s gas. Take an extra acid reflux pill each day.

Fuck my life.

Why is it that someone like me, who spends so much time trying to be independent and so much time trying to make sure he’s there and doing the right things for others (and often failing), when he needs help, when he actually, finally, asks for help, the response is always from someone who couldn’t care less?

I’m so tired of being in the minority.

I’m so tired of being one of the few who actually wants to do right by others, even as I do wrong by myself.

And if you didn’t think I was an egotistical narcissist before and are thinking, well, duh, it’s your attitude bro, well, here’s your fucking moment.

My moment is doubled over with cramps.

If I die, I’m going total poltergeist on that doctor.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1200 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Pawn's Dream, Eric Nylund
Comics: Fathom v3 9-10, Fathom: Blue Descent 0-1
Music: Emotional Rescue, The Rolling Stones

parking lot

So there’s this parking lot, never more than half-full, that most of the workers in my building park in. Technically, I think we’re not supposed to, but come on. It’s attached to a mall that is barely hanging on. Indeed, the owners of said mall are trying desperately to push a plan through council to move the library and city hall there, so they can divest themselves of what I presume is a monstrous money sink that no one goes to, because it has nothing left in it.

Hence, the mostly empty parking lot. So, we at our office park there, instead of paying ridiculous prices for municipal parking or the monthly fee for the parking at our own building (for which there is a waiting list, and for me, with a big van and roof rack, essentially have no access to, because it’s a parking garage I can’t fit into). The parking lot at the mall is dilapidated, filled with potholes, and because it’s closer to our work, we park at the far end of it, so you know, taking up the least valuable spots in the lot.

Still, I gather the mall people don’t want us there, but because we’re not hampering customers, it doesn’t seem to be much of a priority.

Until Karen.

I pull in, from the back way, because it’s direct between my house and it (it doesn’t make sense to go around), and park. I notice on the way in that there’s a purple car circling the lot. It’s weird, and I know something’s up, but I’m not sure what, yet.

So, I get out of the car, grab my lunch, laptop bag and coffee. Before I can get two feet, this car wheels up, window down and the haggard, raw cheeked face of a woman who clearly has too much money and time on her hands rips up. She starts demanding if I work where I do, if I know this is a private lot, blah blah blah.

She points at the signs at the entrance, stating this is a private lot – signs at the main entrance, not the entrance I come through. I point that out, and she says, doesn’t matter, they’re still there. She does not like my question, asking her if she checks every entrance/exit from every building she goes into, just in case there’s signage telling her if a place is private or not. It’s a bit facetious on my part, but like, I get it. We aren’t supposed to be parking there. Personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal because again, the parking lot is never more than half-full, and no one has ever been denied a spot because of the low number of vehicles from us currently parking there.

Apparently, she disagrees, because it’s clear this has been a bug in her bonnet for some time, and leaves me with the impression that she probably doesn’t actually own the place, but her husband does (let’s just say the car isn’t super impressive, but her outfit and Guess purse clearly are intended to send the signal that she’s a richie rich. That may not be true, but it’s just the impression I get – that she actually has no authority at all, except maybe tangentially, and her husband (or whoever), got sick of hearing her bitch about the public servants causing no one any harm parking in her husband’s lot, and so, he told her to go do something about it, but wouldn’t sanction any official actions, and she knew the city wouldn’t get involved and she can’t start towing people, so yeah.

Here we are. Angry, rich, white woman, probably pushed over the edge because Poilievre lost and she can’t feel free spew her anger and hatred over the world from a position of power and entitlement, yelling at, again, public servants, for doing something that yes, is technically not allowed, from a strict legal sense, but is really a grey area at best from a logical, ethical stance.

Listen, I don’t know her deal. Maybe she works for the mall and thought this was a better option than towing cars she wasn’t entirely certain belonged to public servants. Maybe she owns the mall (I thought it was a local businessman by the name of Dan, but I don’t really know). Maybe she’s just having a really bad day. Maybe us parking there is causing some kind of extra expense we’re not aware of (but given the poorly maintained level of the parking lot, I strongly suspect not).

Listen, except the cheap shot of noting the signs indicating private property weren’t posted at the secondary entrance, I was nice about it. She was the angry face yelling at a random stranger from the window of her car. I try not to be confrontational; I don’t feel it’s particularly conducive most of the time.

But you know what? Fuck it.

There’s so many people who just can’t be bothered to even pretend to be nice to people, despite having, at best, the flimsiest of pretexts for being an asshole.

I’m done with it.

In retrospect, I wish I’d filmed it, so I could post it on the local rant & rave and see if it went viral and thoroughly embarrassed her, although from experience, I tend to see these people double down, rather than learn anything.

But yeah. Getting yelled at by a random stranger over something that yes, technically, I’ve done wrong, but in reality, is so utterly petty and pointless?

It’s official. I’m done being nice to people being so clearly shitty.

I won’t be a jerk for the sake of being a jerk, but I’m not ignoring it or explaining it away. We can understand where the other people is coming from while not sanctioning it or allowing it to continue. I will no longer tolerate shitty behaviour directed toward me and mine by people who are old enough to know better.

Game. Fucking. On.

Pricks.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1275 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Veniss Underground, Jeff Vandermeer
Comics: Hawk And Dove 24-26, Hawk And Dove Annual 2 (ah, dreaded Armageddon, which killed one of my favourite titles when I was young, by virtue of DC panic over a leaked ending that would have made a lot more sense, and instead required them to pivot incoherently to using Hawk as the villain, ending this series in its infancy)
Music: Ecstasy, Lou Reed

well, it’s not a majority

But maybe that’s for the best; it’ll keep the Liberals honest.

It does restore my faith in Canadians a little bit; we won’t have a wannabe fascist as Prime Minister.

Now, if we can just accelerate the collapse of the Trump regime, and do what we should have been doing since before Mulroney sold us out and making friends and deals with the rest of the world, to reduce our reliance on these nutjobs to the south…

Anyway, take the wins where you can get them. It’s not a crushing victory for progressive politics, but it’s not a regression.

Any improvement is good improvement.

Protopia, not utopia, remember that.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 880 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe
Comics: Hawk And Dove v2 9-12
Music: Echo & The Bunnymen Essentials, Echo & The Bunnymen