Not in the alcoholic, drug way, but in the fuck me, I can’t get a thing done way.
Exhaustion is in; focus is out.
Universe, save me from myself. Save me from trials and tribulations.
Save me.
Save me.
Save me.
If you can’t tell, I’m working on a motif.
Target: 800 words
Written: 1371 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: Grimm's Fairy Tales, Grimmies
Comics: Image! 7-9, I Hate Fairyland v2 1
Music: The Undiscovered Numbers And Colours, Foreign ObjectsPicture that in Jasper’s voice from The Simpsons. There’s a big one coming tonight, which means no sleep again when Sofi loses her shit.
I need sleep. Desperately.
I’m so tired.
So tired of everything. And everyone.
Target: 800 words
Written: 559 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: Grimm's Fairy Tales, Grimms
Comics: Twig 4-5, Image! 5-6
Music: Undisclosed Desires, Muse (apropos, I suppropose) <-- that's the staggering genius I'm talking about.Possibly the most brilliant song ever written.
Let that sink in.
There’s unexpected depth there, in addition to being very catchy. The interplay between the upset, relatively mindless work of the Beach Boys and the severe depression and mental illness of Brian Wilson?
Captured in song?
Brilliant.
Good Canadian Boys as well.
We love them.
Target: 800 words
Written: 660 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: Grimm's Fairy Tales, Grimms
Comics: Twig 2-3, Image! 3-4
Music: The Undertones, The Undertones (Teenage Kicks, right through the night)The last couple of days have been nice. Sunlight filtering in through the spider plants and and aloe, turning Mazy’s hair even more golden, somehow. It’s nice in the silence.
Then, of course, other people, dogs barking, cats freaking out and an inability to reach my coffee.
Still, all things considered… this or a war zone, it’s no contest.
I am not bereft of peace.
Target: 800 words
Written: 621 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: Grimm's Fairy Tales, Bros Grimm
Comics: The Me You Love In The Dark 5, Image! 1-2, Twig 1
Music: Underground V5.0, Linkin ParkI’m not ready for the forgiveness conversation. Not yet. I know what I want to say, up in the head, but for now, suffice it to say that a better slogan would be this:
Don’t ask permission; don’t need forgiveness.
Show us you’ve thought about the consequences of your actions. Show us you’ve thought about the people and world around you. And if the gatekeepers are still unfair, still blocking creation, still blocking joy or sustenance or the application of basic human decency, well, then, fuck ’em.
Fuck ’em all.
Target: 800 words
Written: 1633 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: Grimm's Fairy Tales, Brothers Grimm
Comics: The Me You Love In The Dark 1-4
Music: Underground V4.0, Linkin ParkThis weekend, we’ll dive deeper on the whole “ask forgiveness, not permission” thing, but for now, today, it’s migraine o’clock with a full work day ahead of me.
The seventh draft begins, like a seventh seal broken, and things can only go down from here.
Target: 800 words
Written: 259 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: Tao Te Ching (Ursula Leguin edition)
Comics: Middlewest 15-18
Music: Underground Network, Anti-FlagI mean, that’s the gist of that phrase, right?
Its origins are obviously in the idea that certain people or organizations act as gatekeepers and therefore, the way to be successful in that field without these fucking creation cops is just to do it anyway and ask forgiveness after it works out.
The problem, like most other platitudes, is that it’s been co-opted (sort of) to become something worse.
Allow me to explain.
Not bothering to ask for permission has been adopted by the extortionists masquerading as capitalists and fascists masquerading as politicians – do whatever the fuck you want and if someone complains, well, then, they must be a whiner or a gatekeeper.
We’ve forgotten the ask forgiveness part.
We’re just doing whatever, fuck permission, and fuck you.
There’s more, much more to be said on that, but I went full marathon today and my brain is D-E-A-D.
Tomorrow, maybe.
Target: 800 words
Written: 2814 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: 'Salem's Lot, Stephen King (so classic, but I'm a little irritated my Kindle copy updated and all the extras somehow disappeared - not what I fucking paid for, Amazon)
Comics: Middlewest 11-14
Music: Underground 6.0, Linkin ParkI mean, it won’t, but I hope it will.
But it won’t.
It never does.
Target: 800 words
Written: 709 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: 'Salem's Lot, Stephen King
Comics: Middlewest 7-10
Music: Undercover, The Rolling StonesI’ve been tracking my blood pressure for a bit now, trying to figure out if I’m about to have a stroke or an aneurysm or heart attack or something fun like that.
I’ve started noticing a rise whenever I’m in the office. I’m not eating differently, not really, so that’s not really a factor. If anything, because there’s more walking involved, I’m getting more exercise.
Is there an inherent level of stress involved in any work that isn’t soul work that automatically puts our health at risk?
I think we’d be hard pressed to say no.
Motherfuckers.
Target: 800 words
Written: 734 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: 'Salem's Lot, Stephen King
Comics: Middlewest 3-6
Music: Underclass Hero, Sum 41They are the worst. There’s really no reason to be there. All it does is raise my tension levels, trigger my natural introvert’s social anxiety and make me work slower and worse.
I will not understand the reasons they want us to go in more often; the reason given was “camaraderie”, but fuck that. I’m not trading the peace and focus of quietude at home for a fucking high five from a co-worker.
Seriously. That was used as an example of why it’s worth coming into the office.
A fucking.
High.
Five.
Fuck that shit, Treasury Board. You’re either drunk, incompetent or power hungry.
None of these things qualify you for making decisions about other people’s lives.
If anything, they disqualify you.
Time to replace the leadership, methinks.
Target: 800 words
Written: 1230 words, novella: The Mungk
Read: 'Salem's Lot, Stephen King
Comics: I Hate Fairyland 19-20, Middlewest 1-2
Music: Under The Covers, Red Hot Chili Peppers