Category: personal

girding myself

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Man, I love this kid, but I know, I KNOW, I’m going to be sore after she’s gone.

My kids were teenagers when I came into their life, so I skipped that whole chasing after toddlers phase, which is fun, but man, running around behind one kid is hard enough.

I don’t know how my mother did four.

Younger, I guess. If I’d done it, I would have been ten to twenty years younger, which would make a big difference, I’m sure.

But now, I’m pushing fifty and well, much as I love the shenanigans and craziness and horseplay, it’s a lot.

So, Advil, be at the ready.

This is going to hurt.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 916 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear (I wanted to like it, because so many authors I like have such respect for Greg Bear, but man... no characterization, disjointed plotline that didn't delve quite far enough into the mechanics of the thing... I'm sure he was trying to say something somewhere, but it was almost... art is bad? I must have missed the point)
Comics: Black Science 4-5, Deadly Class 2-3
Music: Eight Arms To Hold You, Veruca Salt (who doesn't love Volcano Girls? I still have a thing for Louise Post.)

cleaning

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The grandbaby comes tomorrow!

This house is disgusting!

Good god, why!

Who is going to deal with this!

FUCK!

Target: 1200 words
Written:  1087 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear
Comics: Black Science 1-3, Deadly Class 1
Music: Educated Horses, Rob Zombie

home again

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For the next two days, and then, and then!

The once-a-year trip our granddaughter gets to make to our place (versus the six-to-ten the other way)!

Exciting.

I can’t wait to take the kid swimming.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 712 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear
Comics: Fear Agent 29-32
Music: Edith Piaf Essentials, Edith Piaf (man, can she ever belt them out)

day two – back in office

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I still don’t like it, and there’s even more people here today.

Zero out of ten, do not recommend.

Work from home, kids, in any way you can.

Hell is other people, as a smart man once said, but it’s also the self.

Basically, we live in hell, the darkest timeline, whatever, the world actually ended in 2012, and we’re just lost in a collective nightmare where things only get worse, no one can stop it and we’re all doomed to live out our days watching things turn to shit.

This is why you don’t put the boy back at work; he’s less likely to spiral.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1121 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear
Comics: Fear Agent 21-24
Music: Ed Sheeran Essentials, Ed Sheeran (fuck you, the kid seems like a dork, which is cool with me)

back to office

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It’s every bit as bad as I thought.

At least, I’m in a side room, not the main floor, but my boss is right in the room with me (though she’s cool – a cousin of my wife, though neither of knew the other existed prior to me starting there – she looks like a younger version of my wife).

It’s weird though, so quiet. I feel like I’m breathing too heavy, like everyone is watching me.

It’s creepy, keeping my back up.

Hopefully, I get used to it, because otherwise, the background stress of being there is going to kill me.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 702 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: The Infinity Concerto, Greg Bear
Comics: Fear Agent 13-16
Music: Echoes, Silence, Patience, & Grace, Foo Fighters (why is every album so good? A deal with Satan, for certain)

on the verge

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Tomorrow, we start this back to office program. It’s only three days a week, but I’m not sure how that’s going to affect my writing schedule.

Weeks were I’m in now tend to be struggles to find time, because of the extra prep and travel time involved, but I had two weeks to catch up if things went off.

Now… every week, possibly three days where I’m having to get up earlier or stay up later or drop other things I need to do in order to keep up?

Or worse, postponing everything to try and shove them in Thursday or Friday, or that other time that we’re supposed to have time but don’t, a weekend?

I am fretting.

Yes. Fretting.

Okay, freaking out.

I want this life, and I’m tired of fighting myself for it; I certainly don’t need the rest of the world piling on.

The Mungk left me hopeless, fatalist.

Bad Neighbours only feeds my anger.

I don’t need any more anger.

I have always had more than enough.

Fuck.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 611 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Almayer's Folly, Joseph Conrad
Comics: Fear Agent 9-12
Music: Echoes - The Best Of Pink Floyd, Pink Floyd (no shit, for real)

light action

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Oh, it’s a day to play.

Or relax.

Or bust ass until there’s no time left.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 89 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Fear Agent 1-4
Music: Echo & The Bunnymen Essentials, Echo & The Bunnymen (do echoes span days?)

last full week from home

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At least until I become a big, successful writer and people are watching The Mungk and Bad Neighbours on the screen (working title, of course, though I’m not sure what else to call it at this point. Shelley doesn’t seem right, and Lemon is the wrong focus).

Anyway, I’m going to try and enjoy that, at least, before everything gets fucked.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 2049 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Fathom v8 1-4
Music: Easter, Patti Smith Group (certain people I feel in my soul; Lou Reed and Patti Smith are pretty close to the top of that list)

and we’re home

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What a fun weekend.

Parentals can be a bit much at times, but she’s a great kid.

One only hopes she stays that way as she gets older. After all, people change. They have trauma, their parents’ unintentional lessons start to sink in and then, boom, they either turn out just like them or they go the opposite direction.

Shit happens.

Stay crazy, little girl.

It’s the only way to survive.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1569 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Metrophage, Richard Kadrey
Comics: Aspen Visions: Fathom 1, Fathom v7 7-8, Aspen Visions: Soulfire 1
Music: East Side Story, Squeeze

babysittin’

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I fuckin’ love it. Man, this kid is fun. Hide-and-seek, bubble parties, mini-golf, beaver tails, iced cream and a dance recital.

We are packing it in today, son.

She’s going to crash so hard.

And so, probably, are we.

Good exhaustion is the best kind of exhaustion.

Target: 1200 words
Written: 1340 words, novel: Bad Neighbours

Read: Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
Comics: Fathom v7 4-6, Aspen Visions: Executive Assistant Iris 1
Music: Earthling, Eddie Vedder (oh no, albums named the same thing!)